I Lost My Love For The Game In Just Four Years
Sports

I Lost My Love For The Game In Just Four Years

And I want it back.

1276
Megan Aaron

So if you're reading this, I'm going to assume you've played sports at some time in your life. Whether or not you stuck with it or fell in love with it, is another story. But I was the girl whose world revolved around her sport. I wanted the soccer ball pillows in my room, I sported my soccer tournament t-shirts everywhere, and I kept up with the USA Women's soccer team's every move. Soccer was my life and love. My closest friends came from soccer. My favorite memories came from soccer trips and tournaments all over the world. My biggest lessons learned came from soccer. For years I swear it was like everything in me was created for the game and I thrived.

I never struggled with depression or anxiety, I always made new friends, I was given new goals to strive for, and was always healthy and happy. Honestly, I give a lot of my stability in childhood to the consistency of the sport and the team atmosphere no matter wherever I got moved to. I was never cut, never didn't make a tryout, and often got asked to play up on the higher teams. I got to play on the Olympic Developmental team for a couple of years and I played on a German team when we lived there. My schedule revolved around soccer and hanging out with my non-soccer friends rarely happened on the weekends unless we didn't have a soccer game.

I don't say all of this to boast and brag, I was most definitely never the absolute best player. But I share this all to really let it sink in how much this sport meant to me and how much I naturally and without hesitation, poured into it. Throughout all of those years, in the back of my head, was the one big deal goal: college soccer. Scholarships. Playing for a college. So I toured colleges, talked to coaches, and sent out emails. I fell in love with a campus in Southern Alabama and last minute jumped in a full day tryout camp. And just like before, I wasn't cut, I made the first college team I tried out for. And it was the highest level of collegiate athletics. What are the odds right? Could life be better?

The problem is, no one ever prepares you for the reality of college athletics. It's not for fun anymore. Your teammates will be more selfish than they were before and you may struggle to find genuine friendships amongst them. Your coach won't tell you straight up, you'll see blatant favoritism, and chances are you'll give absolutely everything you have, and still see no reward, no scholarships, no playing time, no respect.

It's a harsh reality and it smacks you in the face over and over again and it slowly but surely sucks that love for the game out of you.

You try to hold onto it. You try to remember that excitement and sheer joy you used to have before practice with your teammates. You try to focus on the positives and tell yourself that any sort of reward for your work and time and love doesn't matter, except it does. Because you used to do this all for love. But now it's hard to even do that. Because it's not for fun. You get yelled at and put on the line if you goof off in practice, you have teammates talking behind your back, you have a coach who tells you one thing and tells someone something different. There's no consistency or stability anymore. It's not a safe haven or getaway from the rest of the world.

So in just four college years, I lost my love for the game. I don't want to walk out onto that field anymore. I don't want to lace up my boots and juggle for fun. I'll watch my younger siblings play and only then do I miss it a little bit. I miss the creativity and freedom and fun. But when I see my teammates getting ready for practice or talking about the team or games coming up or coach, I don't want anything to do with it. I put my four years in. I saw it through. And sure it taught me perseverance and hard work and humility, but it also sucked me dry. It turned me into someone I wasn't and in just four years I lost my love for the sport I loved my whole life.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

10 Etsy Father's Day Gifts Under $40 To Support Your Dad And Small Businesses

Stores may still be closed, but the internet is still wide open. So, while you're already shopping online check out Etsy for your Father's Day needs and support small creators.

As June approaches, Father's Day is coming up quickly with it. While they may not ask for much, it's always a nice gesture to give your dad something special to share your appreciation. Although, at the same time, it might be difficult to find the perfect gift either for their humor or that will be practical.

On a normal occasion, it's simple to find a gift for your father figures in stores, but for the times we're currently in our access has become very limited. Small and independent businesses need help now more than ever, so what better time than now to support them? If you're still stuck on what to give for Father's Day, look to this list for some inspiration that won't hurt your wallet too much.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Helpful, Effective Mental Health Resources Specifically For The Black Community

These organizations are qualified, caring, and acknowledging the mental trauma individuals are experiencing.

On May 25, George Floyd died after being pinned to the ground by a Minneapolis police officer. In the last week, protests have sprung up across the nation, demanding justice for Floyd and accountability for police brutality. Social media has also seen widespread conversation regarding Floyd's death, Black Lives Matter, and racism in the United States. Today is #BlackoutTuesday, where many are sharing a single black square to represent unity and support for Black voices.

In light of the heavy climate that our country is facing, it is a safe assumption that many individuals' mental health may be suffering. We wanted to highlight mental health resources and organizations that are Black-owned and prepared to assist in whatever you're going through.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

15 Black-Owned Haircare Brands That Cater As Much To Inclusivity As They Do To Your Locks

Championing Black entrepreneurs who make some of our hair favorites.

The haircare industry is vast. With the rise of social media came hundreds of thousands of empowered, niche brands. Single entrepreneurs came out of the woodwork with hair brands that now, years later, have dedicated cult followings.

Of those multitudes of brands, few cater to all hair types, most made without regard for curly or coily hair. These brands, however, are different.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

4 Women Of Color Share How Racism Affects Their Dating Lives, And Everyone Needs To Listen

"My race is typically a factor in almost everything I do, and with dating, it's no different."

Racism affects the daily lives of people of color in the United States, and other parts of the world, in some capacity every day. When it comes to dating and relationships, this is unfortunately no different.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

13 Movies And Shows On Netflix Directed By Black Men And Women You Need To Watch Now

Take the time right now to watch these fantastic films and TV shows directed by Black men and women.

Netflix

Netflix is notorious for getting us insanely addicted to watching TV and films. From documentaries, true crime, reality, and fiction, we get very sucked in.

Right now the American people are fighting for the lives of our Black brothers and sisters, so instead of watching "The Office" for the 30th time, take the time to watch these 13 films and TV shows directed by Black men and women.

Keep Reading... Show less

I love working out, it makes me feel great. It helps my mood, sleep schedule and I just feel overall healthier. Recently I wanted to focus more on my glutes than I previously had been. At the gym, I would just go to the squat bar to do my thing and call it a day. But since we have been home in quarantine I feel like squats just aren't doing it for me but even if I love doing them. Doing squats I always have felt does more for banging my thighs than it ever did for my butt. It made them so big, which I didn't mind except I felt it made my butt look pretty much the same. Straying from squats, and the fact that gyms will probably remain closed for a while, sent me on a fitness journey to see what other exercises I could do at home with no or very little equipment needed. Hopefully, these exercises will help keep your booty banging.

1. Diamond Leg Lifts

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

10 Podcasts On Race Everyone Should Listen To In Order To Be A Better Ally

Listen and learn, because knowledge is power.

Podcasts are such an integral part of some of our everyday lives that it can be hard to recall a time at which they didn't exist. Podcasts exist on about every single topic, from dating to celebrity gossip and Harry Potter.

Now more than ever, it's likely you're reeling from the news, and (hopefully) wanting to do something about it in order to educate yourself. Podcasts are one of the best ways to get the most up-to-date information in a conversational, personal way from some of today's top educators, scholars, and theorists.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

Stop Pitying Me Because I'm Single, I'm Very Happy With My Relationship With Myself

I don't need your opinions on why I'm single and you're not. We are two different people.

I'm so happy for my friends when they get into relationships, but that doesn't mean they get to have control over my love life, and that is what bothers me. For the record, I've been in four relationships, one lasting for three years, so I do understand relationships.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments