I saw college as this cliff where people either fly over or fall to their doom. I did not expect myself to fly through it with flying colors, and I’m pretty sure nobody else did, either. I knew my limitations, but I did not know my potential. My whole life, I have struggled with anxiety, and I thought that it would prevent me from being successful in college.

Anxiety makes every fear seem like a possible reality, no matter how irrational it may be. It makes someone want to break down and cry from all the pressure of keeping the fear at bay. I think a big part of anxiety is fear and emotion. People often assume that anxiety just comes from too much stress, but nobody really considers that such stress might be caused by our own thoughts and emotions being bottled up.

As someone who suffers from anxiety, I can tell you that my thoughts are actually exhausting. Part of my mind is full of logic and normal day-to-day thoughts. The other part is full of worries about imaginary scenarios and how to plan for such scenarios. The exhaustion comes from the battle between my logical side and my anxieties. I have to keep the anxiety at bay with logic to reassure myself that everything is alright, which can make for a tiresome argument in my mind.

So, when it came time to bid my parents farewell on move-in day, I thought I would break down and make a mess of myself. Somehow that did not happen. There were so many events going on at Morris and so much to do that my mind did not have time to be as anxious as usual. Instead of experiencing a fear of the future, I finally felt hope. That debilitating anxiety turned into an excitement that propelled me forward. I no longer saw college as this valley of doom, but as a new home and a new opportunity. Every experience at Morris since that day has tested me and made me stronger. I faced every challenge and survived. That is the ultimate victory over anxiety. You just have to battle your way through all your worries because when you make it out on the other side, you will be so happy and proud that you kept trucking along.

For all those who have anxiety, I feel your pain, literally, but you can make it. There will be days when you don’t want to put yourself out there and face the world because you are scared of your fears coming true. On those days, just breathe. You don’t have to take on the world right away if you aren’t ready to. On the better days, you will have the strength to see your potential. That’s when you have to take charge and let yourself experience it all. The moment I saw the future as a possibility and not a burden was the moment I felt okay about myself and my anxiety.

It is not until you find hope amidst the fear that you can conquer it.