I grew up in a Southern home that always served home cooked meals where meats and starches were a must. As a kid I was always chunky. In the first grade some girl in my class called me fat and my friend had to defend me. In the second grade my "best friend" in the class asked me if I knew I was fat. My friends would always ask me if I wanted the rest of their food, not knowing they were only enabling my bad habit. Even when I refused, they would insist. I used to eat fast food every day after school. I never exercised and I never saw anything wrong with how I was living.Throughout the rest of school and my life I would struggle with my weight and overall appearance.
Above: Halloween freshman year 2013, almost 50 lbs. heavier.
Once I entered college and started developing my own eating habits, things got better. Most people gain the dreaded "Freshman 15," I lost it. I met people with a healthier lifestyle who encouraged me to exercise and eat better. I kept up with the gym and dieting for a while and then I would quit, then start back again. It was a vicious cycle, but I was still doing better than before. Without trying too hard, I had lost almost 40 lbs. by the end of sophomore year. At that point all I had done was eat less and and not eat all the deliciously unhealthy southern food of my past. The school cafeteria served well-balanced meals and controlled the portions for you, even though you could go back for more. I always ate with my friends and didn't want to look like a completely fatty going back for more food so I would just eat what was given to me. Eating with peers showed me that before I was eating way too much.
This year I've decided to make a lifestyle change rather than hoping this just keeps happening to me. I'm tired of feeling ashamed of my body and I am very tired of trying to find things in my size. I also missed the way I felt after going to they gym, it can give you a natural high and make you feel like you can do anything. I asked a friend from high school who is a personal trainer now for advice and she gave me a meal and workout plan to follow. The journey has only begun and I'm already struggling and having a hard time saying goodbye to chicken nuggets and french fries, but I know it what's best for my future. I want to be a happier healthier person for now and for life.
Above: Me meeting Buzz Lightyear January 2016
Not to say that I am not happy the way I am and that I cannot be happy at this size, I just know that exercise naturally releases "feel good" chemicals and your body feels so much better when it is not clogged and bogged down with processed foods. I want that feeling; I want to feel fresh and healthy.
I know that I have always been beautiful and that we are all beautiful, but this is something I'm doing for me. This is a choice and not something I'm doing for self confidence or praise. This is for how I feel day-to-day physically. For me getting fit is about how I feel and how my body feels, not about how I look and that's how I think it should be for everyone. It's gonna be tough but you can do it, keep working towards whatever your goal is and you will achieve it. We all hit bumps in the road, but you have to keep going.
