I’m a habitual overthinker. I overthink my conversations, my relationships, and even my overthinking, to the point where my friends can't take it anymore. They’re sick of my capricious nature and tendency toward avoiding the inevitable by agonizing over every single option. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know I’m not alone in the strong desire to overcome it. Overthinking is like a disease in that it's consuming and utterly exhausting for everyone involved. As a result, I came up with a list of why we all need to stop overthinking.
It doesn’t solve future problems. In fact, it worsens them. By carefully plotting out every excruciating detail, we fail to realize that life doesn’t always go according to plan. In fact, pondering possible negative outcomes doesn’t succeed in solving problems; it creates them. Instead of wondering what could go wrong or stressing that we don’t know what to do with our lives – maybe we’re in the wrong major, maybe we’ll never get that six-figure job or live in that expensive neighborhood – we need to start taking action. We need to take classes that stimulate our minds, creatively and intellectually. When we are fulfilled, we will know the right path. But until then, there’s no sense in wondering where that path may lead. Instead, we have to give up our need for control and let life unfold itself.
It doesn’t solve previous problems. Trust me, I’ve thought of everything I’ve done wrong in the past and devised ways that I could fix each and every scenario. I’ve thought about different words to say, different actions to take, and different people to trust. I’ve wondered how my life may have been different had I not dated that person, or participated in that activity, or driven down that road. And yet, stressing about things that I have no control over is the definition of insanity. It’s not going to change anything, it’s just going to open up unnecessary old wounds. Rather than worrying about what went wrong in the past, think about how it grew you or what you learned. Chances are, without that negative experience you wouldn’t be the person you are today.
It won’t solve an already struggling relationship. If there’s trouble in paradise, no amount of overthinking is going to amount to a reasonable solution. If you have trust issues with your significant other, that’s either a personal problem that YOU personally have and you need to work on, OR you have reason to be suspicious and need to get out ASAP. Most of the time you know which category you fall into.
It won’t solve a budding relationship. If you’re feeling unsure this early in the game, there’s no sense wasting your time worrying. If he/she isn’t acting interested, he/she probably ISN’T interested. Move on, stop worrying, and take the time to work on yourself. This is the time to travel, read, write, explore, meet new people, go on crazy adventures, and do things that make you happy. Don’t waste it on thinking about someone who's not worthy of your time.
It won’t patch up a broken relationship. At the end of the day, we all have our issues, and we all have a relationship we wish could be better. It could be the relationship you have with a parent, a sibling, or even a friend. Nonetheless, wondering what went wrong is not going to sew back the ripped apart relationship. If the situation is truly weighing you down, ask yourself a few questions. Did spending time with this person make your day better? Did he/she challenge you in a way that made you want to be the best version of yourself possible? Was he/she supportive of your ambitions? Did you have fun with this person? If you answered yes, then stop THINKING about the situation and drive to that person’s house! Write a letter! Make a phone call! If not, let it go. There’s no sense in having toxic people in your life.
6. Research has shown that overthinking can lead to depression and anxiety. Overthinking is associated with self-blame and negative thoughts. The negative effects of these thoughts have been proven to EXCEED those of the problem itself. As a result, your rumination starts to affect other thoughts and memories, which is a detriment to your mental health.
7. Research
has also shown that over-contemplating leads to social friction. Yes, your friends are going to get annoyed. They’ll eventually grow so tired of your overanalyzing that they’ll tell you to get over it and move on with your life. While at first they might respond compassionately, their compassion will eventually fade away until they become hostile and start pulling away from you.8. It’s abrogating your potential leadership capabilities. Forbes
created a list of ten traits that comprise a great leader. Of those ten traits, overthinking offsets four: intuition, positive attitude, commitment, and confidence. Guess what? Mulling over the pros and cons often counteracts your natural intuition. The depression and anxiety that ensue after excessive overanalyzing prevents you from having a genuinely positive attitude. Your vacillations make it impossible for you to commit and also incapacitate your ability to make a confident decision. The culmination of these occurrences adds up to one incompetent leader: you. And as you move forward in life, you'll find that leadership skills are what set you apart from your competitors.
While planning ahead can be an excellent tool for a successful future, it can also act as an inhibitor. Yes, you should be organized and make informed decisions. However, moderation is key. There comes a point when overthinking becomes less of an aid and more of an ailment. Find that healthy balance and live your life.
