"I could weep by the hour like a child, and yet knew not what I wept for..."
"I am the subject of depression so fearful that I hope none of you ever get to such extremes of wretchedness as I go to..."
"The strong are not always vigorous, the wise not always ready, the brave not always courageous, and the joyous not always happy..."
Charles Spurgeon was known as "The Prince of Preachers" and was a prolific writer as well as pastor. And he suffered from depression. In fact, he missed 1 out of every 3 Sundays on average because of it. I remember when I first discovered that. I was 17. It gave me so much hope, to know I wasn't alone, that it wasn't my fault.
You see, the common narrative I hear is that those who grow up in a Christian home often feel an immense sense of guilt and shame if they suffer from chronic depression. They develop the belief that its their lack of faith, their sinfulness, they even doubt their salvation. And it does not help that often pastors, parents and friends will ignorantly, though well meaning, reaffirm this belief.
And it has to stop.
The Christian community is behind the medical community in this regard. Very often, they shun medication and assume the worst of those who suffer from mental illness. Now, I generalize here. I fully recognize there are some Christians and churches that are fully aware of the medical implications of mental illness and do their best to ensure their congregate is getting the proper care. My church, for example, is one such community. And I am deeply grateful for that.
I made myself sick trying to pray away my depression, and it almost killed me. I did everything right. I prayed, I read my bible, I truly believed God loved me and wanted to bring healing into my life. But I was still deeply depressed, no matter what I did, no matter what I changed, no matter how hard I tried.
What I did not know at the time was the serotonin levels in my brain were, and had been for some time, imbalanced and needed to be medically corrected. It had nothing to do with my spiritual life whatsoever. It was purely physical. And God loved me so much that time and time again He brought intelligent, aware individuals who could lead me spiritually to understand my condition and to seek the proper help my body needed. They took away the shame and they loved me, the way Jesus would. It was extremely healing. It was amazing grace.
But, that shame was not something I should have had to heal from. It should not be that we, as a community of believers, perpetuate a stigma that causes such intensely rooted shame and guilt and prevents those who need help from getting it. One of my favorite bible verses is actually the shortest: "Jesus wept," John 11:35. Do you know why? Because it illustrates Christ's humanity in the midst of his divinity. We forget that and we shame others (and ourselves) for struggling with this life. And this life is hard, with an illness or without one.
We need to educate ourselves about the chemical and medical implications of mental illness and do what we can to walk alongside those afflicted. It's a hard enough battle to fight as it is, we should not be adding to it. The Body of Christ must love passionately, unconditionally and without condemnation. We must life each other up and refuse to cast judgment on something we don't understand. We have to create a safe place for people to come with their struggles, their pains, their dreams. Let's vow to work harder to love like Jesus would and to help our brothers and sisters who struggle with mental illness.
"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are in the household of faith." Galatians 6:9-10
