I'm an extrovert. ENJF personality even. I thrive around people. I love the energy I gain from being around crowds/being in front of people. That being said, I have never enjoyed this phenomenon of "going out".
"Going out", referring to the act of going out to a club, bar or other public venue set for nightlife, generally requires a completely different set energy/skills.
For example:
- The ability to stay up late.
- The willingness/desire to drink to excess and/or take "party drugs".
- Enjoyment of loud, dark and often sketchy places.
I am not one of these people. And frankly, I think there are more "non-going-outers" than there are.
I don't enjoy staying up until 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning. I don't drink to excess nor participate in drugs of any kind. Finally, I don't enjoy dark, loud or sketchy places. Maybe you don't either.
Let me present you another, less extreme option that, though may not give you a bunch of likes/followers on Instagram, will maximize your time, budget and total recall of events.
I like to call it:
"Chilling-In"
Now, bear with for a moment. Here me out.
When you "go out" it's all about you. I want to look good. I want to have a good time. And while it's good to treat yourself and take care of yourself on occasion, it's not always about you. Moments aren't defined by how you enjoyed yourself, rather they're defined by the experiences you had with those close to you.
When you "chill-in" you're not making it about just you; you're making it about the group of people you're with. Now, don't imagine a group of boring people sitting on a couch and doing nothing all night. This isn't a "movie night" where it's just going over to your buddy's house. No! Quite the contrary. Play the tunes. Pour the drinks. Prep the oven! Make it an event worthy of your time and energy.
One thing "chilling-in" allows you to do that "going out" does not is the opportunity to have conversations with other people; it's pretty hard to talk over the bump of a club's bass or after thirty bajillion drinks. Ask them about their week! How their dad's doing. What their newest obsession/goal is. In our society we've become so close digitally but so distant personally. Engaging in these relationships are what help give our life joy, inspiration and happiness.
When it comes to drinks in "chilling-in", the goal is not to get drunk. This isn't full on "house-frat-party". Drinks were simply a social etiquette hundreds of years ago (why do you think people still bring wine for dinner parties?) and that's what the goal is here too. "Chilling-in is also a good time to branch out and try some new drinks! Often a beer drinker? Try that strange vodka flavor! Is Whisky your go-to? Maybe try a new wine. Make the goal the people and the drinks will flow fine without taking control of the night.
Now, if you get tired of doing the same thing at someone's home (which I get; we all need a change of scenery every once and a while) there's a Level 2 of chilling-in. Are you ready for this?
It's called:
"Chilling-Out"
Find yourself a chill, public spot. Could be a bar or restaurant. Perhaps a coffee shop? Or, my personal favorite: a teraza, or "rooftop terrace". Some of my favorite memories have been when I was gathered with a select group of close friends where we simply chilled, drank a few, talked, laughed and straight up enjoyed one another's company. It sounds a little archaic, doesn't it? Well, there's something to be said for the way people used to interact before the internet and iPhones.
Overall, we're going for a middle ground between "dinner party" and "da club". Keep the social, musical and liquid elements and add in quality time, food and memories worth sharing.
Just like "going out" often isn't fun for me, perhaps "chilling-in/out" isn't for you. That's okay! But it's important to try new things too. Balance, too, is good. Sometimes, it's fun to "go out" with friends. But make sure to balance that with some "chilling-in/out" too. Too much of anything can often play out to be too much.
May your nights be eventful and wonderful!
Cheers,
ZER
