Changing My Self-Perspective

Changing My Self-Perspective

Is the glass half empty or half full?

When the glass is half empty:

I am a pathetic loser who doesn’t have more than two best friends. I don’t know how to talk to other girls well, or people my own age for that matter. I can be awkward and don’t know what to say during these conversations with my peers. I have never had a truly satisfying friendship or one that seems anything like the ones other people claim to have. I have poor friend making skills.

I am short. I don’t have abs. I am not a tan goddess all year round. I look four years younger than I actually am. I have split ends. At times I wish my nose was smaller. My nails aren’t manicured. I don’t have perfectly shaped eyebrows. I was practically born with bags underneath my eyes. I look at magazines and models and think to myself I’m not skinny or pretty enough.

I don’t know how to have fun. I am a nerd. I care too much. I am not athletic. I am not perfect…

But why do I keep telling myself that I should be all of these things? I should be looking at the glass as half full.

I am already amazingly great. I am friendly and caring of others. I have many acquaintances whom I can rely on for a smile or a wave when I pass them by on campus. I am learning how to get along with girls at my dominantly female school. I have people who look up to me and want to get to know me, so I must become more open with people. I talk to and include everybody. I have different groups of people that I have to get to know more, but who could eventually turn into my best friends.

I play volleyball for my college team, and my shorter stature allows me to hit the floor quicker. I may not have abs or tan skin, but I am skinny, healthy, and beautiful. My facial features make me who I am and I don’t want to change them. Manicured nails and threaded eyebrows will not make me any better of a person, but not having them will save me lots of money. I am beautiful and eventually when I’m older, I will be grateful for having such a young looking face.

I am smart. I am helpful. I am diligent. I am pretty. I am caring. I am not perfect… but I need to accept that it is okay! I work myself up too much and I put myself down, but for what? It doesn’t solve anything. I need to battle this perfectionism and realize that I cannot be perfect, but should accept myself for who I am. I need to be more positive and loving towards myself.

I think we all could love ourselves a little more. Society demands a lot of us today. Social media makes us feel like shit because everywhere we look, there are fake, photoshopped, “perfect” people staring at us. For those who are like me and can be sensitive to society’s demands and social media’s models of illusion...take a look at yourself and realize all of your great qualities. Think of the glass as half full and turn all the bad around to make something good. It requires a decent amount of effort each day to turn this negative thinking into positive, but we have to do it. We have to change the perception of ourselves into something good, because if we do not value and think highly of ourselves, who else will?

Cover Image Credit: One Tree Hill

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To The Parent Who Chose Addiction

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.


When I was younger I resented you, I hated every ounce of you, and I used to question why God would give me a parent like you. Not now. Now I see the beauty and the blessings behind having an addict for a parent. If you're reading this, it isn't meant to hurt you, but rather to thank you.

Thank you for choosing your addiction over me.

Throughout my life, you have always chosen the addiction over my programs, my swim meets or even a simple movie night. You joke about it now or act as if I never questioned if you would wake up the next morning from your pill and alcohol-induced sleep, but I thank you for this. I thank you because I gained a relationship with God. The amount of time I spent praying for you strengthened our relationship in ways I could never explain.

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Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

The amount of hurt and disappointment our family has gone through has brought us closer together. I have a relationship with Nanny and Pop that would never be as strong as it is today if you had been in the picture from day one. That in itself is a blessing.

Thank you for showing me how to love.

From your absence, I have learned how to love unconditionally. I want you to know that even though you weren't here, I love you most of all. No matter the amount of heartbreak, tears, and pain I've felt, you will always be my greatest love.

Thank you for making me strong.

Thank you for leaving and for showing me how to be independent. From you, I have learned that I do not need anyone else to prove to me that I am worthy of being loved. From you, I have learned that life is always hard, but you shouldn't give into the things that make you feel good for a short while, but should search for the real happiness in life.

Most of all, thank you for showing me how to turn my hurt into motivation.

I have learned that the cycle of addiction is not something that will continue into my life. You have hurt me more than anyone, but through that hurt, I have pushed myself to become the best version of myself.

Thank you for choosing the addiction over me because you've made me stronger, wiser, and loving than I ever could've been before.

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To The Big-Hearted Girls Who Just Can't Hit The Block Button

Your compassion for others knows no bounds, and that's why you can't seem to let them go.


Not everyone is worthy of your good heart.

It might be hard to accept that, but it's true. The ones that don't deserve your attention and your care always out themselves. Maybe they take advantage of your kindness, maybe they use you for your love, or maybe they hurt you because they envy some aspect of you or your life. Whatever the case may be, I know you feel the pain from it. I know you are not naive enough to believe that they don't mean the hurtful things they say or that the awful things they put you through are only mere accidents.

Your problem is that you have too big of a heart. You love giving second chances and when they screw that chance up as well, you just can't help yourself from giving them a third, a fourth, or a fifth. Far too easily you are swept up in this cycle of forgiving and forgetting, only to have it blow up in your face time and time again.

You know better.

How many times have you sworn you wouldn't help them again, that it was the last time you'd speak to them, only to snatch up your phone the second you see their name pop up across the screen? How often have you cried over someone who only wanted to be a part of your life when they needed something from you?

Stop giving your all to people that don't care.

Trust me, I know it's easier said than done. It's a difficult habit to break, but once you do you are completely and utterly free from the toxicity. If you're looking for a sign to block that boy who has done nothing but break your heart, or if you were waiting for your cue to finally end that friendship that does nothing but make you feel small, here it is.

Unfortunately, not everyone is going to treat you with the love and respect that you so freely give. Most of the time the people that treat you like crap are just crappy people. It's not your responsibility to save every troubled soul, and you've probably learned by now that not all of them want to be saved.

There's nothing wrong with looking for the good in people, but when they start to drain you of your light you need to have the strength to let them go.

To the girls gifted with hearts too sensitive and ready to burst with compassion, it's OK to cut ties with those who hurt you time and time again. It doesn't mean you've stooped to their level; it doesn't mean you're a bad person. You tried your hardest, but toxic people rarely change their ways. You don't deserve that kind of pain.

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