I have been tall my whole life. My whole family is. Many people I've met consider it a quality they should be jealous of. But, I'm not just 5'9" tall, I'm 6'3" tall. There's a difference. Trust me. Since I have always been tall it means I have learned to adapt to a world that wasn't created for a six-foot tall woman. This is no easy task. So before you starting gushing about how lucky I am, take a walk in my size twelve shoes. Then make your decision.
1. Buying Shoes
How many WNBA post players do you think wear a size seven? I’ll give you a hint: none of them.
2. Hugs
Nothing like pressing my boobs into your face to show affection.
3. Bending Over In Showers
Maybe I’ll just wash from my neck down today.
4. Buying Pants
Have you ever noticed that the difference between two sizes of pants is the waistband? The length may increase a little bit, but by the time you find pants long enough they are gigantic in the waist.
5. Buying Long Sleeve Shirts
OK, I hope I’ve made my point that buying anything is difficult when you are taller than the average female. Long sleeves have similar issues to pants. They are either too short or I’m stuck wearing a tent.
6. Fielding Constant Comments
Yes, I play basketball.
Yes, I’m aware I’m tall. Did you know you were short?
The weather is just fine up here!
7. Having To Watch Your Wingspan
You have to constantly watch where your friends are or you’ll accidentally elbow them in the face. Also, ceiling fans are dangerous! Don’t want to lose your hand (or a piece of your face) when you stretch.
8. Pictures
So, should I go in the middle and make a height triangle? Or how about the end and line up shortest to tallest? I should probably squat down a little so I don’t look too awkward. You know what, I’ll just go stand in the back. Oh, you cut off my head a little bit again? Cool.
9. Leg Room Is Always An Issue
Airplanes, buses, cars, desks…
Need I go on?
10. Finding Guys Tall Enough To Date
11. Getting Asked Your Height
I feel like this just needs to be tattooed on my forehead. Oh wait, you still wouldn't be able to see it...
12. Being Told You Should Model
I really don't think being tall is grounds for being a model.
13. Always Having To Get Things Off The Top Shelf
My family owns a step stool that is only used when we have visitors.
14. The Ability To See Over Stall Doors
There is nothing more awkward than making eye contact with a stranger washing their hands through the mirror as you try to put your pants back on...
15. Beds Are Not Long Enough
I haven't fit in my bed properly since grade school. Literally. My ankles hang off of almost every bed. If by some miracle my ankles don't hang off, half of my foot does.
16. Full-Length Mirrors Are Never Full Length
It's nearly impossible for me to see my whole outfit without squatting down. Why can't they just make longer mirrors?
17. Having To Adjust Your Walking Speed With Shorter Friends
Can't you guys walk any faster? I've got places to go and people to see!
18. Having To Bend Over at sinks and water fountains
I think I'll just kneel down in the hallway to quench my thirst. Otherwise, I'll have to bend at the waist and risk my butt getting run over for sticking out into the hallway.
19. The talent of tripping over nothing
These big feet can really get in the way. If you're not focused on the task at hand you might just bite the dust.
20. Always the meeting point in a crowd
Yes, I do kind of feel like a lighthouse. At least I will never have to worry about losing my friends because they always come right back. I suppose I should be grateful for that, right?
So you see, being tall ain't all it's cracked up to be. We definitely come with our own set of issues. That being said, I'm proud of my height. It makes my life difficult and stressful. But, it also makes me unique. After all of these years, I feel like I've finally got this figured out. Well, that's what I'm going to tell myself next time I walk into a doorframe anyway. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some men's shoes to go buy.
