When you hear the word Catholic you might think of several different things. Maybe you think of a cult or extremist group, or maybe you think it's just a mass service to go to on the weekends. This is similar to what I felt before receiving a Catholic education.
I was born into a Catholic family and raised going to Church most Sundays and attending all of the big masses like Christmas and Easter and I even attended Sunday school. As I grew older, I became bored with this. I stopped attending masses, I finished Sunday school, and I would put up a fight with my mom for even Christmas mass. This didn't seem weird for me though because at the time, none of my friends were religious either. I went on through the rest of middle school and my freshman year of high school without being very religious at all. Then going into my sophomore year, I transferred schools.
I was overwhelmed with this news. All I could think of was going to a school with a bunch of "Jesus freaks" and being completely ostracized because I wouldn't be able to fit in with them. I begged my parents to not move me but it was hopeless. Next thing I knew I was putting on the plaid skirt and polo and headed to my orientation.
I'm not going to lie, being a transfer to this school was awful. Everything g was different. We prayed in the morning, before every class, and after lunch. We have mass every month and a mandatory theology class. The first semester of my sophomore year felt like forever. I never really started to open up about my faith until my junior year when I went on a school trip to D.C to participate in the March For Life.
During this trip, we went to a mass where hundreds of priests and nuns were there and all of a sudden I began to cry in the mass. I didn't know why I was crying and I was trying to hide it but I couldn't. I turned to my best friend saying "why am I crying right now, I don't know why I'm crying." She said to me that I was finally open to Gods love and it was a sensation I couldn't describe. After this trip, I participated more in school mass and prayer and participated in retreats throughout the year.
Maris Ackerman
After this spiritual awakening, I found a new love for myself and for the people around me. Throughout my life I was struggling with self-esteem issues and not being able to love myself in the way I should be. A retreat called Kairos opened my heart even more to Gods love and the love of others.
On my Kairos retreat, I went in not wanting to participate and wanting to remain closed off to other people. I am a person who feels like I don't have to justify myself to others for the way I am or what I believe. After some encouragement, I opened up and saw the love God had for me and the love God had for others around me. I will forever have a connection with these people as some of my best friends.
Maris Ackerman
In conclusion, Catholic high school did a lot for me. It allowed me to explore a faith I was introduced to, it gave me some of the most genuine friends I could ever ask for, it gave me self-esteem again and gave my life importance again. But most importantly, it allowed me to see how loved I am in Gods eyes. That no matter what I could ever do wrong, God always forgave me. For an insecure high schooler, this is the best news I could have received.
