You took all of my insecurities and used them against me.

My friends tell me just to get over it, but nobody ever understands the situation if they're not in it. Something happens that pushes you over the brink and there's no coming back from it.

You meet someone and everything instantly clicks with them. You're texting and talking morning to night, and pretty soon it feels weird whenever you are not talking to them. Honestly, it's amazing being able to confide in someone everything about you and not have to worry about judgment. You can look that person in the eyes, and there's a fire that burns deep inside of you with a passion more overwhelming than anything you've ever experienced.

Father time ticks along, and you've spent all this time with that special someone, and everything in you knows that it's meant to be true. Then something changes... nobody ever realizes it when it's happening either. You have an argument, or they get made at you — usually, it revolves around a mistake.or realization of someone's fault.

Mistakes are supposed to be forgiven, not thrown up in your face every time the opportunity presents itself. Then someone keeps bringing up your mistake and beats you over the head with it. Then you ask, plea, BEG ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES for forgiveness to no avail, and that someone continues to beat you up with your own mistake.

That's when it changed for me.

Things got better... apologies were apparently accepted but secretly, I knew I would never escape the mental imprisonment I had succumbed to with this person. Being pushed and pushed — even with a long fuse — eventually, that fire burns the fuse down to something explosive.

Oh yeah, the mistake... jealousy is like a virus — inject a little bit into a relationship and it spreads like a wildfire. When someone tells you they weren't ready for something with you, then you start exploring other options, and they get mad at you for trying to move on, what are you supposed to do? You can't live your life in limbo and expect to be happy.

While the fuse burned, every insecurity I've ever had made its way to surface. Insulted for working out and living my life of fitness, which all started because I was insecure about my size and bullied for being small. Always using "keeping my ego in check" as an excuse to run my heart into the dirt for a simple mistake. Right.

I will never understand how someone can say that they care for you, yet take every single negative aspect of your personality and turn it against you. That's not how love works. For weeks I felt like a human staircase, with my heart being stepped on following every malicious word. Being told you're a worthless piece of trash, being chewed up and spit out with even the slightest utterance of defense.

Never in my life has someone ever been so vindictive. Never in my life have I done anything to deserve that treatment, but still that person insisted on mentally torturing me, never expecting me to retaliate. My mom always told me you can get pushed until you're pushed into the water, or you can push back.

That's why I can't forgive you — you pushed me and wanted to see me drown.I'm going to take this hate that you continue to give me and use it to fuel my fire. Anyone who has ever been in this position doesn't deserve this treatment. Honestly the ongoing abusive behavior is merely a reflection of the insecurities and imperfections that the bully is feeling inside. Maybe it's time to look in the mirror instead of placing the blame on someone else?

There's something deep inside of me that still makes me want to text you at 1:00 in the morning and divulge my whole life to you, something that makes me think I can still trust you. Love wears many masks, and as shiny and golden as that mask may be, I know what horror lies underneath. I'm giving up. Goodbye.