You Have To Be Honest To Be Good

You Can't Be A Good Person If You're Not Honest With People

Good people have no reason not to be honest.

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Honesty is a hard quality to come by, and frankly, I don't know why. It's very easy to be honest, especially if you have nothing to hide. That's why when people refuse to be honest, it's hard to see them as a good person.

This idea comes up in relationships and dating. Those who aren't honest cause a lot of level-headed people to freak out. A common theme of dating is to tell someone that you're just not ready for a relationship. Instead of just blurting out that bullshit, overused line, why not just be honest with the person you're talking to? If you're not into them, just say so. I mean, say it nicely but be honest. Don't play the "not ready for a relationship" card just because you're a selfish person that wants to keep this person around for your own benefit. If you really just want to be FWB, be honest and tell them.

On the other hand, if you're talking to someone and you decide you don't want to pursue anything anymore, just tell them instead of leading them on. I promise it will save you both time and unnecessary headaches. No one wants to sit around and try to figure out what you're up to. Just be upfront.

The same goes for relationships. Instead of going out and cheating on your partner, perhaps be honest with them about how you're feeling. Communicate. It won't be easy, but you'll be honest.

To go through life constantly lying to get your way seems awfully exhausting. If you find that you need to constantly lie and hide the truth to others, perhaps that's a sign you're not being a very good person. Good people have no reason not to be honest.

You can't spend your time lying to those around you and expect to be called a good person because you're not flat-out being mean to anyone. It doesn't work like that. Being a good person actually takes work and a commitment to not being a jack ass. I'm tired of people claiming to be good just because they haven't set out to hurt anyone. Newsflash; only thinking about yourself in a situation means that you don't care how other's are affected, which makes you a bad person. If you lie to protect yourself but allow others to get hurt in the process, you're not a good person, you're the worst kind.

So before you get yourself caught in a bad situation, just try to not be a massive douche for a second and be honest.

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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The Easiest Way To Get Over A Breakup

Laying in your pajamas is not going to fix everything.

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Breakups suck. There is no other way to say it. But... the good thing about breakups is that they can be seen as a good thing rather than a bad thing. I think the first step to getting over a breakup is to take time to grieve. Your life is going to be different. A whole person is removed from your life. Removed from your routine.

It's OK to take a day to be sad.

I usually take one to two days to be sad and eat a lot of food. You can't just skip over the loss and think that you will recover. You can't do that. Take your two or so days to be sad. No longer than a week. Don't wallow in your dirty, crumb covered sheets.

Once you have taken your grieving time, get your butt up.

Take a shower and leave your house. Put on your favorite outfit and do whatever you need to to make yourself feel better. Go do something. It can be something as small as getting a coffee or walking with friends. Do something with people. Don't become a recluse and isolate yourself.

Do not post on social media.

It is SO tempting to tweet about how sad you are or post a sad snap but don't. Don't let your ex have that much power over you. Don't give them the satisfaction of how sad you are without them. They are going to move on, so you should too. You should also mute them or unfollow your ex. There is no reason to get upset every time you open your phone and see their face. It's not "childish" or "petty" it's smart.

You have to put yourself first and be selfish at this time.

Once you allow yourself to climb out of your dark hole of pity, jump back into life. Keep your chin up and keep going. The best way to "win" in the breakup is to be happy and move on without them. You may fall, you will get random slip-ups of sadness, but you will be OK. Take what you have learned in the relationship and remember that part. Notice what worked and what didn't.

You are fine, it's just a breakup not the end of the world. You got this.

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