First of all, I would like to say that having depression and being depressed are two completely different things. Often people have said to me, "but, you don't look depressed", or "yeah, I was depressed for a while too". No.
Depression is a mental illness and not something that you would be able to pick out of a crowd, just like any other mental illness. Depression is not sitting in a corner crying all day or being incapable of laughing. Being sad is only one of the symptoms of depression. Just know, that you may not fully understand depression and that is okay. I'm honestly glad that you do not fully understand it, but it is not something that should be made fun of or disregarded.
The persistent feeling of sadness (for no reason) or a loss of interest are some things that characterize major depression. This leads to physical and emotional symptoms that range from anxiety, apathy, general discontent, guilt, hopelessness, inability to feel pleasure, lack of interest, mood swings, or sadness. It could be excessive sleeping, insomnia or restless sleep. It affects the whole body including, excessive hunger, fatigue, loss of appetite, or restlessness.
Behaviorally, it is agitation, excessive crying, irritability, or social isolation.
Cognitively, lack of concentration, slowness in activity and thought, or thoughts of suicide. Excessive weight loss or gain. Also very common is repeatedly going over thoughts .
Often, people tell me to "be happy" or "just don't be sad". Please, do not say this to someone with depression. It is not something that we can control and we do not choose to be sad. It is frustrating when people make your thoughts seem irrational and we cannot help the way those of us with depression think.
People say that it is all in your head.
"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" --Albus Dumbledore
Honestly, I couldn't have said it better myself. The relationship between three main monoamine neurotransmitters in the brain,(dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin) is partially the reason for depression. The disorder symptoms are associated with the increase or decrease of specific neurotransmitters. Which is why there are anti-depressants that target these neurotransmitters specifically. Go science.
If you're concerned about what to say to someone with depression, it is often best to just be there for them. Seriously, those of us with depression do not expect you to have the magical words to make it all go away. It can feel that it is a burden when someone asks for help, but if you think that it is a burden helping someone with depression all the time, just imagine what that would feel like if you actually had it.
If you are struggling with depression, just know that there are people who can help. I know we are all tired of the "it will get better" spiel, but it's true. It is just going to be a long road ahead, but that does not mean that you cannot get through it.
Something that I have had issues with is acceptance. I know I have major depressive disorder, but when life is going well, it is frustrating not feeling happy as with it as you'd like. It is more than just good days and bad days. It is accepting the truth that it will never fully go away, it is something that will have to be worked at every day. Even writing these words isn't easy, and I don't want others to think "you're all better". You get better, but it is always there.
