Ladies, You Can Do Better Than The Guy Who Tells You You're 'Too High Maintenance'

Ladies, You Can Do Better Than The Guy Who Tells You You're 'Too High Maintenance'

No matter the situation, follow your gut and don't ignore the signs that he isn't the one. There is nothing wrong with you, he just needs to work on himself. The right guy is out there, and you are worthy of love. Good things take time.

Kayla Russo
Kayla Russo Dec 18, 2018
520
views

This goes out to all of the girls right now who are questioning their own worth, because of a guy who just doesn't know what an amazing girl he has in front of him. You are so much more than a hookup and you deserve so much better.

You are better than that, and deserve better than to be treated any less than the princess you are.

In today's society, us women have been so accustomed to being mistreated by men, and it has got to stop. This is most prevalent to me in the realm of dating in college. Time and time again I have heard stories about the guys who want the benefits of a girlfriend, without the label. They will get what they want, and after they get it, the effort stops.

It is not fair to go out of your way for someone who doesn't even want or hasn't even put a label on something. Playing hard to get is a concept that seems to have been forgotten in this day in age because of the fear that if you play hard to get, you will lose the guy because you are "too high maintenance" and are "asking for too much."

This is just utterly false.

You are not asking for too much, but asking to be treated with the respect you deserve and if a guy is not willing to make you feel like a priority, and not play childish games like only texting at 3 a.m. to hookup, or when its convenient for him.

Nothing will change unless we take steps to ensure it does.

It is time that if someone is not treating you like a priority, do not go out of your way to make them one. Men will go after what they want, and what they find important to go after, and handing them the benefits of having a girlfriend, without having them work for it will lead to nothing but heartbreak.

The sad truth is that the nice guys that would treat us right, are often friend-zoned because we just do not know how to handle someone treating us with respect and not coming onto us like we are used to. For some reason, we like to go after the guys who just don't seem to care, because for some reason we think he will change for us, and the sad truth is he won't. If he is ignoring texts, not wanting to bring you around his friends, not wanting to post anything about you, or only wants to hang out alone or at night...run.

Go find someone who will put the effort in, and hey, it might just be the guy you were quick to put in the friend zone.

So its time to become unavailable sometimes, to leave them on read and to realize when it is time to just walk away. There is nothing wrong with walking away from a situation that is not mutually beneficial. By nature, men are hunters, which mean they enjoy the chase, and if they don't have to chase anymore, they won't — and it's the sad truth.

They will most often than not, want to come back into your life once you are already gone, and running back to them is often the first instinct. But remember the reason you walked away, and be strong enough to stick with that decision.

Your college years are the best years of your life and you should never let a guy come between you and your happiness. It is easier said than done to walk away from someone you have feelings for, but letting them mistreat you just isn't worth it. Your time is valuable in general and don't waste your energy. Being lonely could very well be the reason why people settle for less, because the concept of any attention, is better than no attention, is what is gone after.

It is OK to be alone. It might be hard but isn't that better than crying over someone who leaves you questioning yourself and the decision you made to put so much effort into them.

Use this time to focus on yourself and better yourself, for you. No one will love you until you love yourself, and once you have established self-love, you will settle for nothing less than you deserve. A good guy is worth the wait, even if the people around you are in relationships or it is "cuffing" season.

No matter the situation, follow your gut and don't ignore the signs that he isn't the one

There is nothing wrong with you, he just needs to work on himself

The right guy is out there, and you are worthy of love.

Good things take time.

Kayla Russo
Kayla Russo Dec 18, 2018
At University of Rhode Island

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'Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I'm Bored' Is Everything Wrong With Today's Dating Scene

Sorry Arianators, but what the heck is this?

Megan Crabb
Megan Crabb Feb 11, 2019
50909
views

I started listening to Ariana Grande's new album "Thank You, Next" the morning after it came out. Although I've been leery of her in the past, I do have to admit that she put out some major bops. One song's title REALLY concerned me, though. After listening to the song "break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored," I was even more disgusted.

Why is Grande pushing for the further destruction of today's dating scene?

Grande is basically singing about a guy she has a thing for and saying that he can "hit it" (ew, talk about classless) if he breaks up with his girlfriend. She even admits that it isn't right but she doesn't care. All because she's bored. Excuse me, WHAT?

This song just perpetuates everything that is wrong with dating and relationships in society today. People treat relationships like something they need to get out of the way instead of something to respect. Since when did a relationship become meaningless? If someone is in one, they are off limits regardless of your feelings. Period.

I can't tell you how many times I have heard conversations among both guys and girls talking about someone they like, mentioning they are in a relationship, then basically proceeding to do what they want anyway. That is the reason relationships today are 1. rare and 2. not working out like they used to. Sorry, but it's pathetic. You have no right to complain that you aren't in a relationship if that is the way you act toward other people's relationships.

People don't have boundaries these days. In my head, I always thought that if someone had a significant other, regardless of my feelings, that was endgame. I guess Ariana has different feelings? She needs to not perpetuate the BS attitude that millions of teenagers and adults already showcase. It only makes her look bad and makes others think that it is a common and appropriate mindset. Newsflash: It's not.

More like "break up with your girlfriend because I'm a whore." If that's the kind of attitude you have, stay away from me and my boyfriend because you're just a homewrecker. Sorry, not sorry.

Megan Crabb
Megan Crabb Feb 11, 2019
At University of Missouri

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When We Get Swept Up In The Idea Of Love, We Fail To Understand The Meaning Behind It

We feel a spark, an intense feeling of endearment, and are quick to label it love, a product of our desperation to have it.

Alex Manacop
Alex Manacop Feb 18, 2019
37
views

Love is something we celebrate year round. That is why, despite Valentine's Day having passed by the time you read this, I am still choosing to dedicate this article to it. We strive to love and be loved. We know that it's important. We idealize what it feels like and spend our whole lives speculating about what it truly means.

Unfortunately, the price we pay in being swept up in the ideas of love that are presented to us is that we find ourselves more enthralled in our idealization of love rather than love itself.

We seem to enlist ourselves in a battle to love and be loved. To love and be loved. You see, in embarking on this journey, our motivation lends itself to more selfish terms. People begin to treat love as a transaction where they love with the condition of feeling that love in return. Love has never been a game, yet that is so often what people make of it. They are blinded by the idea that there should be a certain degree of "fairness," an even exchange, of actions and emotions. Couples keep score. Should I tell him I love him before we part ways if he didn't initiate it the last time? Do I buy him a nice gift for his birthday when he forgot to buy me flowers last Valentine's Day? Maybe if I don't do x, y and z he will realize he needs to "step it up" and treat me the way I treat him.

Love doesn't involve scores or holding out on giving someone our best just because they are not meeting our expectations.

Real love carries no expectations and builds and flourishes solely on itself. This being said, you cannot go out and truly love someone unless you have built that relationship of love and caring for your own needs with yourself. A loving relationship consists of two whole people, not two halves looking to be completed by each other. Two people with the mutual understanding that the responsibility of generating the other's happiness is not their own.

For some reason, we tend to view love as the ultimate end goal. Love is not a static destination, but rather a living breathing entity, constantly evolving. We feel a spark, an intense feeling of endearment, and are quick to label it love, a product of our desperation to have it. With time the feeling fades and because we were hasty and mislabeled the feeling, we automatically assume we have fallen out of love. You have not fallen out of love, you have merely reached the crossover between your idealized version of love and what it actually is.

People will nod their heads when they are lectured with the idea that love isn't easy yet will quickly become lazy once things are no longer as simple as they once were. They bow out when things become too hard and blame it on the fact that "they just weren't right for each other" or that "the world was against them." People find comfort in the idea that they can always find someone else and they traverse from relationship to relationship with new expectations built upon ones that hadn't been met in the previous one.

This is not love. To label this as such disgraces its true nature.

I don't really know what love is, to be honest. These are simply things I've learned and drawn from my own encounters with love, or what I think love is. Above all else, I believe that love is a vessel for growth. Real love is about learning and growing together. It is absent of "keeping score," there are no preconceived notions. It's about relishing the happiness you have when you're together. We should love not in exchange for love, but because we can. Because we want to, without restriction or expectation.
Alex Manacop
Alex Manacop Feb 18, 2019
At Rutgers University

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