To the one I let go,
I've always imagined writing this to you, and for the first time, I think I'm finally realizing this is the end of "us."
First off, thank you. Thank you for everything that you have done for me. You made me feel like a queen. Thank you for the late night FaceTime calls, early morning texts, and countless Uber rides to see me. Thank for you calling me cute and spending time with my family, even when I know you didn't want to. You made me smile in a way that no one else could, and you opened my eyes to an entirely new perspective. I had recently come out of bad relationship and you helped to mend that hole in my heart.
I may not always have shown it in the last part of our relationship, but I appreciated every moment that I was with you. You taught me so much more than you could possibly imagine. I cannot imagine being who I am today if I had not met you. Love is a powerful thing. People say that love is hard. But with you, it was the easiest thing in the world. I don't even remember the moment that I made myself emotionally vulnerable to someone like you. I cannot thank you enough for trusting me enough to open yourself up. Your heart and your loyalty and dedication to those you love is enviable.
I know what it feels like to be madly in love with someone, even if it is not the right thing for you. I care about you more than I can possibly express in words, and when you hurt, I hurt. And I love you. I would do anything for you, and drop it all to be with you. You can fall out of being in love, but you can never stop loving someone.
You showed me how to let go, to live in the moment and be carefree. You made me comfortable in my own skin for the first time in years and taught me how to love myself. You proved that you were worthy of my trust, despite my being stubborn and not willing to let myself get hurt again.
The time that I spent with you was some of the happiest moments in my life, and some of the saddest. I know that I truly loved you when we fought, and I ended up crying on my bed, but I still wanted you. Neither of us was perfect. We opened up to each other in a way that I never would have predicted. Some nights I was left with more questions than answers about us.
I am sorry that sometimes I was distant and acted differently, but it takes a lot to knock down the walls I build around myself. I know that I disappointed you, but I had to do what is right for me. I couldn't spend more months with us going in two separate directions. There is not a single reason that I let you go, it was a combination of many things.
I want you to know that I stopped our relationship, not because of you, but because I need to love myself first. It was hard for me to let you go, but you helped me see the right mindset. Through my time with you, I grew and became more of an adult and realized that I needed to go in my own path.
I miss all the moments that we spent together, the memories we shared, our little inside jokes and most of all, I miss us. What we used to be, and what we thought we could be. Maybe you changed and maybe I did too. Maybe these maybes are all we have left to remind us of our past.
Wherever you are in the world, I hope you find something and someone who does work out for you.
The Girl Who Loves You