"I wish I looked like that."
We've all said these six words at least once in our lifetime. With constant access to the internet and social media, we are bombarded with images of beautiful strangers that fill us with longing. Many of us hunger for the poreless skin, voluminous hair, amazing clothes, and perfectly proportionate bodies that these models seem to possess. We envy them, we worship them, and we allow their perfection to make us feel inadequate in our own skin. By juxtaposing their glossy, manicured images to our own reflection, we tell ourselves that we aren't enough, that we don't compare. And how could we? Pictures like these were created with the intent to make the viewer feel that they could achieve this "idealized" look with this product or these clothes. These models aren't made up of flesh and blood, but airbrushed lines and Photoshopped bodies.
"I wish I could pull that off."
This feeling of ineptitude, however small it may be, can have devastating effects on our self-confidence. We tell ourselves that maybe one day, we can achieve this "perfection" through hours spent counting calories, or buying a whole new wardrobe. We continue to live in a state of quiet self-loathing rather than embracing the bodies we are given. We hope that maybe a little makeup here, or a little makeup there will cover up the insecurity that wracks us each time we catch a glimpse of ourselves in the mirror. We choose to hate ourselves because we secretly hope that this frustration will allow us to reach the standard that the media propagates as normal.
"You're enough."
Someone recently said those two words to me, and I stopped and stared at them for a few seconds in complete awe. It had been the first time I had ever heard that out loud, and even though I've seen 8,000 cheesy Tumblr posts containing those same words, I had brushed it off as another corny phrase that wasn't worthy of my attention. But it is. Those two words contain a thousand different meanings for whoever reads them. It's OK to be satisfied with who you are, the body you have, the clothes you wear, your quirky personality, the music you listen to, etc. You don't have to aspire to be "better" by someone else's standards. And I think we often forget that it's a choice -- we can make the decision to embrace self-love every day. In life, it can be easy to compare yourself to others and get swept up in trying to impress everyone you meet. But what many of us fail to see is that we should only be held to the standards we set for ourselves, the ones that make us feel good and assure us that we are the people we want to be. Who cares what anyone else thinks? You are the only one whose opinion truly matters. And even now, I can practically hear someone in the background yelling, "Easier said than done!" To you, the skeptic, I say this -- start small. Buy clothes that make you feel good about yourself, whether it's a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt or a floor-length ball gown. Try not to overanalyze every little detail about yourself. Just keep doing you, and make no apologies for it.
