Boo! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!! It’s the spookiest day of the year. What’s scarier than ghosts? Ghouls? Witches? Wizards? Spiders? Skeletons?
I can tell you what’s scarier.
The fact that it’s 2017 and as a woman, I still do not feel safe.
I don’t feel safe at school. I don’t feel safe at work. I don’t feel safe in a parking lot.
If I report that I’ve been sexually assaulted or harassed, I have absolutely NO confidence that legal action will be taken against the perpetrator. I know this because I’ve tried. It’s 2017 and I feel like if I show off any part of my body, a man will touch me. If a man touches me and I say, “No,” I don’t think he’ll stop. I lay awake every night in fear that my friends or I will end up in the wrong place at the wrong time with the spookiest of the spooky: someone who doesn’t understand the concept of boundaries.
Every 98 seconds, someone in the United States is taken advantage of and sexually assaulted. It’s scary. No haunted house will ever freak me out as much as that fact.
The thing is, we live in a victim-blaming society. This epidemic of sexual violence is never EVER the victim’s fault. You could be raped when you’re wearing a mini skirt and cropped shirt or when you’re chilling with your friend in baggy sweatpants. Yeah, it’s terrifying. We’re so focused on teaching people how to NOT get raped. Why aren’t we teaching people how to be respectful? If you report a rape or harassment, MAYBE they’ll get a stern talking to if you’re lucky. It’s rare that something bad will actually happen to them. I mean, police departments are publishing literal pages on how to avoid becoming a VICTIM. It’s sick.
If you’re an assault or harassment victim, I just want you to know that it’s not your fault. It never is. I know what it’s like to freeze when your assaulter is touching you and you just can’t say no anymore. I know what it’s like to finally feel brave enough to report what happened to you, only to be shot down. You’re not alone. There are people out there who want to help, like the people at RAINN. They have a live chat if you just need someone to talk to.
Halloween is my favorite holiday. I love spooky things. I’ve been celebrating for the entire month of October. But I’m not going to rest until I feel safe. I won’t give up on speaking against sexual violence until we see a difference. I won’t shut up until the legal system and the government will support victims with no blaming whatsoever. It’s time for a change. As you celebrate Halloween tonight, keep in mind those around you who are suffering in silence.
