In my tenure of competition, I have witnessed what is seemingly woven in the fabric of bodybuilders. Perusing the prevalent themes of all that is good, bad, ugly and beautiful – it is so evident.
It goes without saying that bodybuilders are a special breed of specimens that too often are mischaracterized by a plethora of stereotypes. Albeit – if the stereotypes prove true or not – people fail to understand the arenas entire backdrop in trying to understand the components that propel these athletes to live this chosen lifestyle.
We’ve all witnessed it – in the gym or not – that undeniable, scathing, standoffish look that either acts like you don’t exist or that at least you are assumed – for lack of a better word: inferior. I have witnessed this manly mantra many times back stage at fitness shows and in the gym in which guys deliberately go out of their way to look cold hearted and tough in their ‘sizing-up’ of one another. But what I have come to learn is that it is all part of an act – used as a bulwark to protect the damaged, insecure hearts that have been so badly crushed from each owns life story – in what I often find to be filled with trauma.
Bodybuilders do an extremely fabulous job presenting themselves with such remarkable toughness, tenacity and confidence that they come off as intimidating and arrogant – but behind closed doors I have found the opposite – time and time again.
Being gay has provided me with a unique position in which my guy friends that I body-build with are able to tear the veil off of what they would normally safeguard in front of any other guy because they would perceive them as competition in the way of what most bodybuilders fulfill themselves with outside the gym: girls. In this position, guys have opened up to me on a whole other level that I have never experienced before. I have come to find out that those who depict the image that they are extremely well put together and over the top confident are in fact the most scarred, broken, insecure and pain filled individuals that are in the most desperate need of love.
Defying the public spheres conventional wisdom (or lack thereof) that wrongfully classifies the sport as an enormity – we must evaluate the entirety of the sports spectrum and the athletes’ conditions that partake in it. While everyday civilians look with askance at these athletes – they fail to realize why these athletes come off the way they do.
As mentioned above – I have repeatedly come across those in the sport with unimaginable backgrounds and stories that all but put into perspective their addiction of light that they find in sport. From victims of rape, to victims of mental disorders, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, homosexuality struggle, identity crisis’, drug addiction and perhaps the most common theme of all: relationship turmoil and heartbreak – they are all but levy’s that prop up and propel each athlete, speaking volumes in explaining this special breed of athletes that turn to the gym for their safe haven.
Like hungry pigs feeding at their troughs – broken fitness-ite’s feed their souls well being at the gym. The gym provides direct metaphors that are directly applicable to each owns philosophical framework and lens they view life through. The gym teaches these athletes many lessons that sometimes the athletes themselves aren’t even consciously aware of. From each of the scenarios of people’s pasts that I brought up - there is a direct result of living, breathing ramifications that manifest themselves in these athletes love of weightlifting that become prevalent themes.
PAIN – A word that exemplifies the nagging reminder of each owns daily struggle and heartache. Like most ordinary people – or perhaps more than – bodybuilders are unable to let go of the toxic, hurtful memories that have forever warped their soul. Whether it was a difficult breakup or a suicide attempt from years back – the salting of their life’s own wound drives them to the gym. In the gym, their decimation of their muscle fibers breed pain and it is in that pain that they ‘get off’ on. For it is their conquering of that pain – knowing that what rightfully comes next after they eat and replenish their body, is the building back up of those once destroyed fibers. This process serves as reassurance that they are in control of their destiny: something many struggle with behind closed doors for it is in their prior life experiences in which they have felt robbed of it.
INSECURITY – A word that exemplifies the driving motive of each gym rat. Like most people, I have been intimidated by extremely attractive, seemingly well put together females and males alike. However, as I mentioned previously – its all a fad. Becoming tight knit with many of those that once gave off that image to me – it is all but apparent at how wrongful my own assumptions and bias’ were. Take the most loud mouth, biggest dude in the gym and even your most beautiful female competitor who every girl would dream of mirroring. I’ve held them both – crying in my very arms. Take the open actions of one constantly updating their social media for example. The act of updating but renders the conclusion (that even myself is guilty of) that these individuals are starved. The mantra of “sharing progress” isn’t sufficient enough for the seemingly endless selfies and call outs to be prided. I say this with no hate or disdain, for we are all guilty of it. However, it is problematic and points to the common theme of insecurity - because in the gym or behind closed doors – we are not personally getting enough love, attention and compliments from those we hold dear whether that be family, friends, spouses or mates. Males and females have both openly expressed this manifestation rooted in their experiences in which others have made them feel less. I find that the emotional abuse of ones family, or the permanent, engrained word assaults from ex’s to even societies expectations or ones own traumatic event – they in the gym work for a betterment of self in what they see fit to become more whole.
CONTROL – Arguably the most apparent theme that bodybuilders thrive off of. Control exemplifies everything that lacks in ones life. All themes flow into this one as if it were a funnel – for it is the reason of control that these athletes turn to the gym. In doing so, they find their mastering of control – otherwise known as: RESULTS. Slipped through their fingers like melted butter – fitness competitors have felt the short end of the stick in their experiences of relationships, careers and sports in which they have lost things that were out of their realm of control. Finally, they have stumbled upon an offering found through the medium of the gym that provides them the resources to control their own growth.
Without covering any more themes, you can see how these themes intertwine like vines engulfing a building to the point of its mere non existence. As the building is seemingly choked by vines – so too are the bodybuilders, only with non-visible vines.
Most ordinary people will be turned off at such themes that carry derogatory context in todays day and age. Their failure to have an open mind in trying to understand these special beings - being triggered by words associated with negativity, deprive them of a beauty unlike anything in this world and they will continue on to further malign the sport and the individuals within. However, if one were to open a new lens – and view the sport and its athletes with empathy – they may find new understanding and attraction. Further more, it is my hope that with the new revelations at the hand of this new lens that people may reap a new tailoring in helping new gym goer’s feel less intimidated, bashful or scared. Maybe – just maybe – this new information will create new modalities in how current mates, friends and family approach their loved one caught in the crossfire of this sport and its erroneous stereotypes that degrades ones love of sport.
In conclusion, it is worth noting that this article serves solely as my own perspective - hoping that when read – it provides insight into those that would dare want it. It is my hope that amidst the stereotypes that seek degradation such as “bodybuilders are all dumb meat heads” for example, will diminish. Perhaps the salient message I most hope to get across is that there is beauty in they who dedicate themselves to the betterment of self found in this sport, despite the often trashing that they get. Counter arguments may always pose themselves – but take in mind other perspectives and if those arguments do a sufficient job in explaining individuals who live the sport – who have the drive to spend 5-7 days of their week busting their butt in the gym. From what I have found, there are always underlying themes of extreme emotion and heartache – whether if one consciously admits it or not. My findings explain why these athletes put themselves through torture-esque extremities to perfect an image, that more often times than not, fades after their stage appearance.
