I'm A Body-Positive Hypocrite
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

I'm A Body-Positive Hypocrite

If I believe so strongly in encouraging and empowering other women, why can't I extend the same courtesy to myself?

68
I'm A Body-Positive Hypocrite

I am in love with the body-positive movements taking over the Internet.

I am excited to see “plus-size” models like Tess Holiday and diverse body types in the media. I read articles like Bustle’s 11 Body Positive Hashtags and imagine my face transforming into the heart eyes emoji. I watch videos like the one below and scream, "YASSS QUEENS!"

I am all about women being empowered. I am all about women not basing their values on their bodies. I am all about body positivity among women. I've been busy commenting on my friends' selfies and sharing articles about the issue to spread the word to everyone: YOU are perfect the way you are.

I have been passionately supportive of every woman except one: myself.

Like everyone, I wish I could change a few things about my body. I've gained the college/relationship pounds. I have stretchmarks and cellulite. I feel uncomfortable wearing certain clothing styles. I'm easily defeated when clothes shopping and during swimsuit season. All I tell myself is that I've let myself go and that I'm unattractive, overweight, and out of shape. I look gross in everything, and every part of my body is flawed in some way. I'm sure most of us are familiar with the following scene from "Mean Girls" that echoes this behavior:


It seems ridiculous when presented in the movie, but this is what I do multiple times a day, even though it would break my heart to see other women doing it.

The monologue in my head is much different from the positive dialogue I have with other people about their bodies.

My duplicity is difficult for me to admit. It's difficult for me to say that I'm a total hypocrite. I don't want people to know this about me.

But this is my first step to getting better: admitting I have a problem.

If I believe so strongly in encouraging and empowering other women, why can't I extend the same courtesy to myself? Why could I realize that someone else was suffering from social pressure to be perfect but not recognize the same behavior in myself?

This hypocrisy hit me especially hard the other day when the aforementioned Tess Holiday posted this picture on her Facebook page in response to a comment in "O magazine."

I, of course, mentally applauded Holiday and immediately shared her post all while thinking, "Yes, Tess looks great. Anyone can wear a crop top if they want to! ... Except for me."

Then I paused and realized that I was living by a set of rules I had made exclusively for myself. If I heard anyone else saying to someone, "Everyone can wear what they want except for you," I would be outraged, but there I was doing it to myself. Totally unfair.

It took that moment for me to understand that I deserved the same respect and love that I was giving everyone else. I had broken the body positive golden rule:

Treat yourself as positively as you would treat other people.

Someone once told me: Never say anything to yourself that you wouldn't want someone else to say to you.

This, like most good advice, is very wise and helpful, but it's difficult to follow when you see yourself every single day and compare your reflection to the filtered images of your friends on social media and the photoshopped pictures in magazines.

I had this realization a few days ago, and I decided in that moment that I was going to be more positive and loving toward myself. I haven't gotten there yet. It will probably take me a while. But I'm trying because, I finally realize, I deserve better than how I was treating myself before. My friends and family always say kind things to me, and I brush them off as being polite. I don't see what they see.

I'm not writing this for people to applaud me. I'm writing it because it's true for me, and I suspect it is true for a lot of other people. I'm learning that joy and appreciation has to come from within before I can appreciate it from others. My worth, like yours, does not begin and end with what I see in the mirror. I realize that the need to feel beautiful can be harmful and a result of social constructs. But, at the end--or beginning, or middle--of the day, everyone wants to feel beautiful. What we consider beautiful needs some adjusting. I'm starting to adjust myself so I can see that.

I'm continuing on my journey to be kinder to myself one look in the mirror at a time. More than likely, this will be a lifetime journey filled with obstacles, but I think it's a journey worth taking. And if you identified with any part of this piece, I hope you join me. We're beautiful, and every part of us is worth appreciating.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

A Beginner's Wine Appreciation Course

While I most certainly do not know everything, I feel like I know more than the average 21-year-old about vino, so I wrote this beginner's wine appreciate course to help YOU navigate the wine world and drink like a pro.

2825
White wine being poured into a glass
Pexels


Keep Reading...Show less
Types of ice cream

Who doesn't love ice cream? People from all over the world enjoy the frozen dessert, but different countries have their own twists on the classic treat.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

100 Reasons to Choose Happiness

Happy Moments to Brighten Your Day!

40937
A man with a white beard and mustache wearing a hat

As any other person on this planet, it sometimes can be hard to find the good in things. However, as I have always tried my hardest to find happiness in any and every moment and just generally always try to find the best in every situation, I have realized that your own happiness is much more important than people often think. Finding the good in any situation can help you to find happiness in some of the simplest and unexpected places.

Keep Reading...Show less
Christmas

Remember The True Meaning of Christmas

“Where are you Christmas? Why can’t I find you?”

8069
A painting of the virgin Mary, the baby Jesus, and the wise men

It’s everyone’s favorite time of year. Christmastime is a celebration, but have we forgotten what we are supposed to be celebrating? There is a reason the holiday is called Christmas. Not presentmas. Not Santamas. Not Swiftmas. Christmas.

boy standing in front of man wearing santa claus costume Photo by __ drz __ on Unsplash



What many people forget is that there is no Christmas without Christ. Not only is this a time to spend with your family and loved ones, it is a time to reflect on the blessings we have gotten from Jesus. After all, it is His birthday.


Keep Reading...Show less
Golden retriever sat on the sand with ocean in the background
Photo by Justin Aikin on Unsplash

Anyone who knows me knows how much I adore my dog. I am constantly talking about my love for her. I attribute many of my dog's amazing qualities to her breed. She is a purebred Golden Retriever, and because of this I am a self-proclaimed expert on why these are the best pets a family could have. Here are 11 reasons why Goldens are the undisputed best dog breed in the world.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments