Growing up is hard. One deals with a lot of drama, self-doubt and plenty of fears about the future… or at least, I certainly did. Especially during my high school years, I was plagued with grand ideas of who I was to become, the freedoms that supposedly came with growing up and even a few (okay, maybe more than just a few) mistakes that I thought were either the end of the world, or really no big deal at the time. If I could go back in time and give my younger self some advice to get me through the high school years, there’s definitely a few things that I would make sure to say to myself.
First of all, despite all of the hype, turning eighteen does not mean that you’re a grownup and that you will get to do whatever the heck you want to do. It might feel like that for the first week you are away from home and are out at 2:30 in the morning watching “How I Met Your Mother” with your friends, but not too long after that, you’ll be hit like a baseball bat to the stomach with the sudden realization that everything you thought about this magical age is not true at all. You’re still going to be exactly as confused and lost as you felt at 17, possibly even more so. Guess what? That’s perfectly okay. You might as well forget everything you ever hoped about finally becoming a legal adult.
Speaking of feeling lost, you’re going to feel incredibly and unbelievably lost during high school. You’re going to want to resist that “teen angst” image and the “identity searching” phase of life. In fact, you’re going to hold all of it at arm’s length and deny that it even exists despite the fact that you’re smack dab in the middle of it. You’re going to hide from your soul-searching in books, music, boys and all of your friends, especially insisting that you know exactly who you are and who you are meant to become. One piece of advice on that: don’t let the fact that you’re normal and discovering yourself keep you from finding your authenticity. You don’t get to just look at someone you think has it all together and choose to become like them. You have to grow and stretch and experience life and let yourself discover who you were made to be. Don’t rush it.
Let’s touch on that oh-so-important subject of boys, now, shall we? Honestly, just… chill. Your boyfriend is not “the one.” Nope, none of them (sorry, it doesn’t happen like that for you). Don’t get so tied up with finding true love that you fall in love with the idea of it rather than with the life you have right in front of you. Especially in high school, you don’t get the chance to be around those people you hang out with for very long. Stop worrying about what that stupid spat over hot Cheetos means for your future children and start caring about that girl who looks like she’s been crying every day before class for the past week. When you reach out to more people and connect with everyone around you, you’ll be much happier, I promise.
Finally, let me share with you some advice about the harsh reality of school. At some point, you’re going to feel so overwhelmed and done with the whole high school “scene.” Totally o-v-e-r it. You’re going to quickly realize that the teacher who doesn’t take attendance also doesn’t give out pop quizzes and that a few of your buddies have a free period during that time. Do yourself a favor and don’t skip class, even though you know for a fact that you could be gone for half of the classes and still get an “A.” I know you haven’t eaten lunch and you don’t want to wait until tomorrow to finish that movie that your friend has saved on his laptop, but dealing with a growly tummy and internally dying from suspense for the rest of the day is a lot better than feeling guilty and forming habits that are literally going to take you years to break. Trust me, I’ve done it the other way, and I wish I’d have just gotten my skinny little butt off the chair and into class, even if the only thing I accomplished that day were a few doodles and a whole lot of wondering how Dracula was going to save his daughter without getting her killed.
Most importantly, love who you are right now and in this very moment, no matter how many mistakes you feel like you’ve made. You really are worth all the time and effort, you’ll see.
