If Big Ten Schools Were Alcohol
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

If Big Ten Schools Were Alcohol

You are what you drink, amiright?

1604
If Big Ten Schools Were Alcohol
SI.com

Drinking is part of the college experience. From Thirsty Thursday to fraternity formals, there’s no escaping the fact that alcohol is a part of mainstream university social life. This is especially true in the Big Ten Conference, where football and drinking go hand-in-hand at some of the largest public institutions in the country. Like alcohol, Big Ten schools come in a wide array of diverse options, from strong and prominent (think Ohio State, Michigan, Penn State) to laidback and party-friendly (looking at you, Rutgers). Curious to see what kind of alcohol corresponds to your favorite Big Ten school? Give a look below!

SEE ALSO: If Big Ten Schools Were People You Saw At The Gym

1. Northwestern - Franzia

They act like they’re fancy and above it all, but come on, wine in a box?? They think they deserve the wine glass but all they get is slapped, both on the field and on a frat’s front lawn. That said, the party wouldn’t be the same without it, and the Big Ten wouldn’t be the same without Northwestern.

2. Maryland - National Bohemian

Like the students of UMD (and many other excessively Maryland cliches), the National Bohemian brand is full of local pride, but nobody outside of Maryland really knows you exist.

3. Rutgers - Jagerbomb

They high key go hard (some might say too hard for their own good). Most people forget about them until someone mentions them out of the blue, but once someone mentions them, they’re suddenly the life of the party. Also, their football team plays like they’re constantly hung over, so there’s that.

4. Michigan - Warm Natty Light

You’d have to be cold in both body and soul to appreciate either of these belligerent Midwestern institutions. Michigan and Natty are the ones everyone loves to hate, but give credit where credit is due: they get the job done. We just wish you weren’t so awful.

5. Michigan State - Cold Natty Light

Yeah, it’s Natty, but at least it’s not warm. That should count for something.

6. Nebraska - Everclear

Grain alcohol isn’t exactly corn alcohol, but close enough. Plus, it’s about as strong as you can get. Approach with caution, or they’ll mess you up beyond repair.

7. Ohio State - Four Loko

You either love them or hate them (most people hate them), but if you dare tangle with the beast, you’ll always be beaten.

8. Penn State - Martini & Rossi

Classic, bourgeois, overtly obnoxious and absolutely over-the-top, but we wouldn’t want you any other way.

9. Purdue - Pinot Grigio

Mellow, often overlooked, but generally classy. Won’t mess you up, but hard to outright dislike.

10. Wisconsin - Pabst Blue Ribbon

They act like they’re special, but despite trying to be cool and hip, we know what they are.

11. Indiana - Taaka


Lousy Midwestern staples, these two go hand-in-hand as both universally beloved and universally despised at the same time. If you’re not from Indiana, you might not know what it is; same goes for the Hoosiers. I mean really, what is a Hoosier? Either way, each is a quintessential part of the Big Ten experience, whether you care to admit it or not.

12. Minnesota - Hennessy

Hennessy makes you talk funny. Everybody at Minnesota already talks funny. Coincidence? I think not.

13. Iowa - Miller Lite

Smooth, classic, and always comes in handy in a pinch, but it’s nothing special. Just kinda there in the corn fields, really.

14. Illinois - Champagne

Besides the Champaign pun, going to UI is like buying bottle service: it either costs way too much or you’re not getting what you’re paying for.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

98165
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments