I have always been a thin person. Never did I have a chubby middle school stage or an awkward weight gain smack dab in the middle of high school. Actually, gaining weight became an accomplishment growing up and- at times- still is. And getting sick makes a task like that so much harder to accomplish when your body doesn’t have anything to support itself in order to get better. Not having a healthy body doesn’t support a healthy mind.
Society pounds it into our heads that being skinny is important, but being in good health should trump that any day. Not only should you eat healthy, but you should just eat in general. The problem with being naturally thin is that the second you get sick, everything is automatically a thousand times worse. Unfortunately, I have been sick for quite some time now, unconscious, nauseous, hospitalized, and even diagnosed with pneumonia in a pretty short amount of time. Being skinny may “look” good, but believe me, it doesn’t always feel good.
In about a month’s time, I have been in a constant downward spiral, basically the worst I’ve ever felt, like ever. And I can only blame myself for it. I am a thin person, and I eat, but sometimes not enough, and like I said, it’s no ones fault but my own. And that has become a huge problem for my health, and a whole lot of unneeded stress for those I love and surround myself with. I am more thankful than they know for taking care of me and am sincerely sorry that I have missed important events on their behalf and even mad at myself for not being able to get myself to go to work. Not only do you lose weight when you don’t eat, but you kind of fall apart on the inside and out. Your stomach shrinks and you get even less hungry. Anxiety sets in and you make yourself sick to your stomach at the thought of something embarrassing happening in public. Am I going to pass out again? Am I going to throw up in front of all of these people? All of those things stick in your head until you get so nauseous that you don’t want to eat. It is a huge, horrible cycle that only makes things worse. My loved ones worry about me and I’m starting to worry about me too.
I have started to think about me more, and I am very happy with that decision. I am working at being better at taking care of myself, making sure that I am healthy so I don’t end up in that downward spiral ever again. Take care of yourself, like I should have been doing a long time ago. This isn’t meant to be a pity party, it’s meant to be something to push people to make things better for themselves. I don’t want anyone to go through what I have the past month or so, it’s not fun. If you want to be thin then by all means go for it, if you’re happy with your body then go you, that’s perfectly okay too. But my only advice is that if you want to be thin, be the good kind of thin, the kind that doesn’t send you to a doctor 4 times in a month, be the kind that eats healthy and works out. Don’t be like me and worry about everything to the point where thin isn’t healthy anymore, because trust me, it only goes downhill from there.
