We all have that friend. You know, the guy who can reach the last box on the top shelf at a grocery store, or literally hovers over the net in a recreational volleyball tournament. That friend happens to be the 6'6" or so behemoth, who everyone refers to as the tall person, and is often asked, "So, how's the weather up there, stretch?"
I happen to be 6'5", and so I am that friend.
I love being tall, don't get me wrong. There are many pros and benefits of being tall. However, there are some cons too. Here's my list of the top ten things that those classified as "really tall," hate:
1. The Basketball Comment
Literally every single week, there has to be at least one person that makes a basketball-related comment to me. Anything from "What is your favorite NBA team," to "You must play basketball," is on the table. Fact of the matter is, whether we play basketball or not, these questions happen. They are completely unavoidable, unless you plan on locking yourself in your residence and plan on never coming out into the public again.
2. Clothes Shopping
We all have a size, and some sizes work better than others. For me, my best-fitting size is the one between XL and XXL. What size is that? It's the size that only online retailers carry, XL Tall. Since nobody really uses this size, I expect to pay $15 plus for a plain white T-Shirt. XXL unfortunately has to do the job, most of the time.
3. Dropping Something
It's a long way down. Dropping a pen becomes a hassle when you have to shrink four feet, or you bend all the way down and look like an archway that a child could pass through. This has led me to kicking my foot out when I drop something in hope that I can somehow deflect the projectile into an easily-accessible place. I've caused some bruises.
4. School Desks
Let's keep this one plain and simple. A school desk is not meant to be made for a very tall person. Once you're in, if you actually do get in, you can't move. Maybe your legs stick out two feet into the aisle. You practically have to fall onto the floor ignored to get up and out of the seat.
5. Not Getting Shotgun
This one is a doozy. Your friends usually lack common courtesy and honor their own satisfactions of watching their 6'5" friend fit into the back of a small car. Your knees are jammed into your chin, your head touches the ceiling, and the seat itself is actually too small. You have to become a contortionist to even get through the door and in/out of the car.
6. Beds
I don't actually remember the last time I completely fit on a bed. It's sad. My feet hang four inches off the end of the bed, and I'm forced into the fetal position. In my senior year of high school, I went on a trip to France. I'm just going to take a sleeping bag next time. Twin-sized beds weren't really cutting it.
7. Hitting Your Head
BANG! There's a nice new welt on your forehead from the doorframe you just walked directly into. OUCH! Apparently that metal bar in the basement was lower than you thought.
My parents thought it would be a great idea to put a chandelier right in the middle of our kitchen. I have no problem with their intent, but the result was somewhat different: my neck is where the lightbulbs are. Suddenly, trying to sneak extra ice cream at 3 a.m. became a crash of Griffin tripping over a stool and smacking his head on the chandelier. Sneaky? I think not.
8. Airplanes
There isn't legroom, you can't use the aisles, you're squished next to another person, your head goes well beyond the top of the seat, the bathroom is the size of my mother's glassware cabinet, and when you put your tray down to have a drink, it's tilted because it bounces off of your knees. Luckily, I nearly always have an aisle seat. On my trip to France, I had aisle seats for all of my flights. Twenty hours of total flight time, including two eight-hour segments, isn't a grand time though. At least I fared better than the 6'7" basketball player that went with me, who never got the aisle seats.
9. "You must have grown!"
Yes, I did grow. And, every time you see me, you tell me how much I've grown. Do you think I haven't noticed? I get it. Just observe, don't say anything. Then I have to act it out, and say, "Yes! Maybe! Have I? I'll check when I get home to see if I have!" You bet I'm totally digging through all of my dad's tools to find that broken tape measure. The worst part is that the person asking is usually the mother of the mother of my friend in fourth grade who I'm not actually friends with anymore. It was nice to see you, but I have no idea who you are.
10. Outside Expectations To Be Great At Every Sport
I'm not a good swimmer, I can't play basketball to save my life, and in my lacrosse-playing days, many stick checks resulted in hitting shorter people in the head. That's not to say that I'm not an athletic person, it's just that we, as tall people, for the most part (yes, there are exceptions), are not the Michael Jordan of every sport just because we're tall. I'm always open in family football games, but I can't catch the ball. Contrarily, in a simple game of catch, I can't miss the ball. Why? Because then I have to bend over again.
