Hello, my name is Lauren Davis, I'm 21 years old and I'm single. I used to think being single was the worst thing ever but as I've gotten older, I realized that being single is perfectly fine.
Will Smith made a video on Instagram a few months ago and he made a profound statement that really stuck with me. Will Smith was talking about one of his essential keys to a successful marriage to his wife, Jada P. Smith.
"You cannot make a person happy. I thought that was a real deep idea. You can make a person smile. You can make a person feel good. You can make a person laugh. But, whether or not a person is happy is deeply and totally and utterly out of your control."
In order to be happy in a relationship, you must first learn to be happy on your own. Your happiness should not be determined based on if another individual makes you happy. Many people think that being in a relationship automatically makes you whole and happy but it doesn't. You have to be in a good place and the other person has to be in a good place in order for you both to form a successful relationship.
Even if both individuals are both happy on their own, that doesn't mean the relationship will be perfect.
Nothing is perfect and there is always room for improvement. Starting a relationship when both people are separately happy ensures that the relationship will begin on ideal terms. It's unfair for someone to give the responsibility of making them happy to another person. This can be destructive to the relationship and ultimately be the cause if it ends.
I'm at a point in my life where I am content with where I am.
There are days that are good and there are some days that are bad but that's just how life is. Even though I am at a good place in life, I still enjoy being single. It's less stressful and I can focus on keeping my grades up. I also have more time to focus on myself. College is the time where many people begin to figure out who they are and what they want to do with their lives.
I used to hate being alone and always would want to hang out with people.
After my sophomore year of college, I learned to love being by myself. I actually enjoy it now because it allows me time for myself and I usually get my best work done when I'm alone with no distractions. The key to finding happiness is learning to be alone and love yourself without the validation of others. The only person whose opinion of yourself matters is yours.
Will Smith's advice is the perfect takeaway for both people in relationships and single people who will be in relationships in the future.
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