The second our loved ones leave our sides or move on, our heart feels shattered to a million minuscule pieces. As we start to finally enter into the world, feeling as if half our heart is missing, we become a slow, meandering human being walking the floors of our beloved community in which we are now brought up upon.
Finally thrusting yourself into the actual world after a hard split from your partner, none of us can even put into words what that first feeling is like, the first date, the first kiss, the first intimate night with that new person, all of this seemingly becomes unbearable to our minds and we cannot fathom that moment with someone else, someone new, someone different. And that's the big word, different.
Giving not only your life, and your time, but most importantly your heart to someone can easily take a toll on you when that person is now gone. Mornings may seem slow, nights become lonely, and those memories of laughter, love, happiness, and glory will never disappear from your mind. But remember never to forget those moments, not only were they an upscale moment in your life, but they have memories that can always bring a smile to the face and bring joy to yourself overall.
So why enlightenment? How would that powerful word that becomes praised upon in the Buddhist culture would even relate to losing either a past love or someone who you hold dearest to your heart. During this past Christmas season, my father looked at me after a long night of celebratory night with family and friends, he says to me, "Rachel, I am so proud of you, this past holiday season, I have never seen you so happy, so loving, so giving, and most importantly being back to your normal self." As I started to ponder over that statement, I realized that being single has not only brought me joy, but it brought me back to who I used to be.
The goofy, inspirational, active, intelligent, and brave young women. I have not only been able to open up myself to a miraculous amount of opportunities from traveling across the states to attend a university, being able to intern in places I have always dreamt of, going out and having fun with the people I love, and the most important to my well-being is being able to have the time to focus on me, and who I am as a person and what I strive to be. I have been able to better myself from education, health, hobbies, and inviting a whole new group of friends who lie so closely to my heart. True love is an amazing experience to have, but truly loving yourself and finding out who you really are is the deepest true love you can find. Enlightenment is a stage in your mind in which you feel as though life is as light as a feather, beautiful as the sunset over the Atlantic ocean, as soft as the clouds above, and as simple as the artwork we paint in our sleep.
The most important thing that I have grasped from being single is that you have to love yourself before you can love others. When put into a relationship it is not about changing the person you are or changing your partner. It is about coming together and making each other better as overall people. As I wandered over the little intricacies of a relationship, I finally realized that we think too much about trying to find that perfect person and we always try to change that man or women into the person we hope them to become. But is that what love really is? No, of course not. We as beings are made to lift each other up and better one another no matter what flaws or downfalls one may have.
So give yourself some time to breathe and think about who you really are as a person and when you're ready everything will fall into place. What I realized is that most of us never put ourselves first and I think that it is time that we stop fixing others and try upbringing our own self, because in the end when we are successful, and have confidence, and have intelligence of our own. That is when life will throw you the fairytale you have always dreamt of. Enlightenment doesn't come quick and it surely doesn't come easy, but if you focus on yourself, it'll be a lot easier than you thought.