Last semester, I took an interdisciplinary course called Engaging the Local Diaspora. The class focused on globalization, the refugee crisis and what we can do to help those from other countries. In September, we did an activity called Looking Beyond Borders. Basically, the activity involves two people sitting across from each other, who stare into each other's eyes for 4 minutes straight. Two of my male classmates volunteered as examples.

I'll be honest, I laugh at everything that makes me even mildly uncomfortable. So, you better believe that I was obnoxiously chuckling in the corner, while they stared at each other for an unfathomable amount of time. I thought the activity was completely weird and mind blowing, to be honest. Mind blowing, because how could staring at someone connect you with them, or make you feel like you know them?

Later that night, I was texting a good friend of mine about the activity. He said something that caught me off guard, but also made complete sense. He said, " Well, it's something that dives beyond the superficial. When you look into people's eyes like that, there's no where to hide. a lot of people can't deal with that." What he said is so true. It is hard for a person to deal with anyone else understanding their personal reality.

I understand this to a point. Of course, you do not want to open up to strangers or people you cannot trust. But, are you really even past the "surface" with people who you consider friends?

Building relationships is a communicative process. I communicate with you, you communicate with me. Rather than being the only one speaking, you have to be willing to listen to what the other person is saying too. I feel like many people are in the habit of just waiting for the chance to speak, without internalizing what other people are saying.

In other words, many of us do not know how to be receptive. We do not know how to handle someone being vulnerable with us. We do not know how to handle someone coming to us with a real problem. We do not know how to act like anything besides a brick, when it comes to emotions.

Therefore, since many people are not receptive, many others are unwilling to put their feelings out there. It is a sad cycle, and one that I have certainly experienced firsthand. It takes a toll on you when you open up to someone so much, only for them to treat you poorly, ignore you, or gossip about you. It kind of makes you feel like you made a mistake, when in reality, they were the one in the wrong.

So, with all of that being said, hold yourself accountable for how receptive you are to the emotions of others. If someone is being open with you, listen and be honest with them. If someone sends you a kind message, respond to them. Appreciate their vulnerability. Do not take those types of people for granted. They took the time out of their day to find you, so it is courtesy to treat their feelings with respect and dignity. They deserve to be treated like they matter. They deserve to feel valid and relevant to you. Typically, they are the ones who will return the favor if you need to talk.

Although the Looking Beyond Borders exercise did not resonate with me as much as it did with others, the emotions that can arise through it are important and real. It reminds us to look beyond the surface of an individual and to have an open heart to the people in your life. Strength and emotion go hand in hand. They are not separate beings that never cross paths. They build off of each other, and make for a well- rounded and whole person.