Making Sure You Are True To Yourself In A Relationship

Making Sure You Are True To Yourself In A Relationship

"Sometimes it's better to be alone than to be with someone for the hell of it."

Making Sure You Are True To Yourself In A Relationship

Relationships are hard, and that's no lie. Being with a person that you love can be one of the most intense and happy experiences in the world. An issue that I see so many people going through is struggling to be who they were before the relationship. Of course, it is obvious that a person will change after being with a partner for long periods of time. But staying true to who you are were before you met your significant other is so incredibly important.

Personally, I have seen three types of toxic relationships that have both ended the same way. The first relationship that I witnessed was actually involving one of my close friends. She began dating a toxic and cruel boy who never wanted her to be around anyone besides himself. She began dropping friends like flies until there were no more to lose. She was all alone, and after he cheated, she was completely isolated from the world around her. The relationships had changed her into a person that none of her friends could recognize. She had always been motivated, strong, and caring of those around her. She had lost who she was, and all of the friends who loved that old girl that was lost. She never had "me time" at all, and she ended up alone and miserable.

The second relationship that I had come across was one involving a notorious boyfriend lover. This girl had hopped from boyfriend to boyfriend since early high school. She never had time to be alone, because she was always being cared for by a partner. She found her personality molding into different shapes depending on which boyfriend she had at the time. In her first relationship, she tried to associate with the boy's middle eastern culture. She bent over backward trying to learn Arabic and the many nuances of their culture. However, this did not take. When that relationship ended, she found herself with a boy who loved hiking, traveling, and classical music. She became obsessed with these details of him, and once again found herself conforming to a mold. The issue here was that she felt like everything she loved would bore him, so she chose to try to fit perfectly into his world like a puzzle piece.

Lastly, there is a comfortable relationship. This one is tricky. I watched yet another friend undergo this type of feat and she slowly lost all of her drive and motivation for the goals she wanted to accomplish in her life. She was so comfortable being with her boyfriend that she never felt the need to leave the apartment or do anything really. She found herself drowning in alcohol and Juul pods. She forgot who she was or why any of it mattered. In this instance, it was never the boyfriend's fault. The fault was all on her. She had been more herself in this relationship than ever before. But dually, she wasn't who she used to be, and she couldn't recognize the girl in the mirror anymore.

The main point that I'm trying to get across here, is that no matter who you are with you always have to remember to be the person you were, fundamentally, before you met your significant other. It is so important to take "me time" unlike the first girl in the article. You always have to make sure that the person you are with also tries to appreciate your culture, unlike our second example. And lastly, sometimes it's better to be alone than to be with someone for the hell of it. Once you lose the person you were, it is so difficult to become that person again. Don't let anyone change you ever, and be the person that YOU want to be.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B just dropped the hottest summer single yet. It's called "WAP" and we're going to get into all the intoxicating lyrics.

This song empowers females and their sexuality. These women put the ridiculous music industry female beef to bed, and I mean tucked away in a coma.

Keep Reading... Show less

How To Write Down The Holy Grail Recipe Everyone Begs You To Make

Because everyone has a signature cocktail, cake, or pasta they bring to every potluck.


From back when I used to bring my mom's classic white chocolate chip cookies to preschool on my birthday to now stirring up my signature tequila cocktails at every friends' barbecue, I've always had a couple of standby recipes in my culinary rotation.

Keep Reading... Show less

Meet My Cat: Cheshire, The Stray Turned House Cat Who Lives in Michigan

I never considered myself a cat person, but Chess immediately stole my heart.

Madelyn Darbonne

In 2016, a stray cat gave birth to a litter of three grey kittens on my aunt and uncle's property. I had never considered myself to be much of a cat person, but these furballs immediately stole my heart. I got to watch them grow up until they were old enough to leave their mother's side.

Keep Reading... Show less

How To Binge-Watch A TV Show —And Then Write A Review About It

Writing your favorite and least favorite things about a show could not be more fun.

Photo by Mollie Sivaram on Unsplash

Looking for a new show to binge? Stop scrolling through your options and listen.

Sometimes a good show doesn't come down to the genre or the actors involved, it comes down to the fact that it is simply a GOOD show. If any of these things sound appealing to you, you should definitely watch.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

11 Reasons Why Getting A Cat Is The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Mental Health

Cats may mess up your puzzles but they'll always love you unconditionally — as long as you have some catnip, that is.

Scout Guarino

Alright, everyone, it's time to stop spreading the rumor that all cats are mean, aloof, and hate everyone. Like dogs, each cat has its own personality and tendencies. Some like a lot of attention, some like less — each person has to find the right cat for them. As for me, my cats Bienfu and Reptar have seen me at my worst, but they've also helped pull me out of it. They're a constant in my life and they give me the strength to get through the day in spite of my depression, and there's even scientific evidence to support it!

Keep Reading... Show less

I've been bleaching my hair since I was in seventh grade. Yes, you read that correctly, seventh grade. That's nearly 10 years of maintaining a very light shade of blonde that too-often brings about dryness and brittle strands.

Keep Reading... Show less

Chances are if you're here, you're probably interested in writing an open letter. Yay! We're excited to have you.

Of course, not all open letters are created equal. In fact, there's a recipe to writing one for Odyssey that'll get featured on one of our many verticals. When it comes to Swoon specifically (for those new around here, that's our dating and relationships vertical), we receive dozens of open letters each month, many of which are all very similar.

Keep Reading... Show less

With a new phone comes great responsibility: Do not break it! And the best way to do that is with a case. However, picking a case can be a challenge. No need to fret, I am here to help break down some of the best cases for the new iPhone SE 2020. Honestly, I think it's going to be impossible to choose!

Keep Reading... Show less

To some who have been out of the dating world for a while, it can be hard to get back into the swing of things after being single for some time. So, I asked 26 people what they think is important to know before looking for love again, here's what they had to say.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments