Even Though I'm Picky I'm Not Willing To Settle For Just Anyone

Have you ever felt like there is no one on the face of the earth that will ever be "the one" for you? That's the feeling I've got with every guy I've met in college. It's not like I haven't put myself out there or been uninterested in meeting someone. My first thought when I meet someone new is "Wow, this guy is great."

But then I notice every flaw this guy has. I notice the little things like how he isn't interested in art, cares more about Fort Night than his dog, and has failed to have even one intellectual conversation with me in the past month. I try so hard to get past these. Maybe we don't have to like the same things. We don't have to have a dog and maybe intellectual conversations are meant for my best friends. I try so hard to get past these deal breakers for me in a relationship, but in the end I realize I'm just too picky for a relationship.

This viewpoint comes from one of my biggest fears of settling. I'm a perfectionist; a person obsessed with the perfect picture image in just about any aspect of my life. But I'm also a dreamer; a person who day dreams about how life will look through the decades. With these two personality traits comes high expectations.

When it comes to relationships, my perfectionist side tells me I have to go with society's views and find the one by my sophomore year of college. My dreamer side has all these expectations before I can call him "the one." I have to know everything about him. From why his favorite color changed from red to blue, to why he's closer to his dad than his mom...I want to know his deepest fears and all his favorite things. My dreamer side wants to know how he ended up the way he is and why he's chosen to love me.

But see, there's a slight problem. Getting to know someone in that depth requires time. You're not going to know everything about someone in a few months or even years. It is impossible to know everything I want to know and call someone "the one" by when society believes is a good time. We put such an emphasis on the way things are suppose to go. You meet the one in college and get married, have three kids and life is great.

But that's not how life works, especially for picky people.

Being picky is not a bad thing. It might make it more difficult to meet people, or take a little longer to find satisfaction, but maybe that's a good thing. Being picky means you understand your worth and set high standards for yourself. Sometimes the little flaws you find in someone aren't so little. He should enjoy similar things to you, like art and dogs. You are worthy of finding someone who reflects your interests and goals, and also rattles your brain.

Being picky means you never settle and that is something to be proud of.