Be Careful About The Words You Use

Be Careful About The Words You Use

Our words and phrases reflect who we are
116
views

Everyone has words or phrases that they repeat all the time, whether they mean to or not. Whether it is because you have heard it before, or it seems to always fit the situation, some words and phrases become a major part of our vocabulary, and subsequently who we are. Recently, I became aware of my constant use of my own phrase: “mistakes were made.” I’m not sure where I first heard it, or when I started using it, but this phrase somehow became a vital part of my conversations, whether I was describing staying up too late, an awkward social interaction, or a test that went horribly wrong. I never thought much of the phrase and my usage of it; it was just something I say, but recently my friends pointed out how often I say it and how they equate the phrase with me. So, that left me wondering what “mistakes were made” really stood for, and whether I wanted it to represent me.

Mistakes is a word with a bad connotation, it implies that something wrong has been done. Without realizing it, by using my popular phrase I was putting myself down and implying that many of my actions were wrong or regrettable. However, when I see myself and my actions, I don’t think in that way. My actions, even if they don’t go perfectly, well, or as planned, are not mistakes; they are just choices or occurrences in my life. Yes, some choices are probably not the best, and I could make better ones in certain situations, but I don’t hold any regret for what I have chosen. Life is full of choices, some good, some better than others, and in order to live a happy life we need to accept the choices we make. By labeling these choices with mistakes and regret, we are putting ourselves down, instead of recognizing that life isn’t perfect and every choice we make is not going to be either.

Just the other night, I was beating myself up and using my favorite phrase because I stayed up very late on a school night to watch "Harry Potter" and eat cookies to celebrate my friend’s birthday. The next day, in my exhausted, delirious state, I claimed that by doing this, “mistakes were made.” However, when looking back, this isn’t really true. I made a choice to stay up late and celebrate, and while staying up late was probably not the best choice, spending time with my friends and having fun with them was a good choice. Instead of recognizing my actions and both the positives and negatives of them, I clouded them with negative connotations by using that phrase.

Now, even though I now recognize the power that just a silly phrase holds, I will not stop using it, or change my vocabulary overnight. Some phrases and words come so naturally to us that it is difficult to stop using them. However, I urge everyone to at least take a moment and think about the words they use. Whether we like it or not, the words we use are a reflection of our personality and self, and we need to make sure that our words match up with the person we are.

Popular Right Now

To The Person Who Feels Suicidal But Doesn't Want To Die

Suicidal thoughts are not black and white.
1552965
views

Everyone assumes that if you have suicidal thoughts that means you want to die.

Suicidal thoughts are thought of in such black and white terms. Either you have suicidal thoughts and you want to die, or you don't have suicidal thoughts and you want to live. What most people don't understand is there are some stuck in the gray area of those two statements, I for one am one of them.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a kid.

My first recollection of it was when I came home after school one day and got in trouble; and while I was just sitting in the dining room I kept thinking, “I wonder what it would be like to take a knife from the kitchen and just shove it into my stomach." I didn't want to die, or even hurt myself for that matter. But those thoughts haven't stopped since.

I've thought about going into the bathroom and taking every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up, I've thought about hurting myself to take the pain away, just a few days ago on my way to work I thought about driving my car straight into a tree. But I didn't. Why? Because even though that urge was so strong, I didn't want to die. I still don't, I don't want my life to end.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about these feelings. I don't want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you're absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

It's a confusing feeling, it's a scary feeling.

When the depression takes over you feel like you aren't in control. It's like you're drowning.

Every bad memory, every single thing that hurt you, every bad thing you've ever done comes back and grabs you by the ankle and drags you back under the water just as you're about the reach the surface. It's suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

The hardest part is you never know when these thoughts are going to come. Some days you're just so happy and can't believe how good your life is, and the very next day you could be alone in a dark room unable to see because of the tears welling up in your eyes and thinking you'd be better off dead. You feel alone, you feel like a burden to everyone around you, you feel like the world would be better off without you. I wish it was something I could just turn off but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

These feelings come in waves.

It feels like you're swimming and the sun is shining and you're having a great time, until a wave comes and sucks you under into the darkness of the water. No matter how hard you try to reach the surface again a new wave comes and hits you back under again, and again, and again.

And then it just stops.

But you never know when the next wave is going to come. You never know when you're going to be sucked back under.

I always wondered if I was the only one like this.

It didn't make any sense to me, how did I think about suicide so often but not want to die? But I was thinking about it in black and white, I thought I wasn't allowed to have those feelings since I wasn't going to act on them. But then I read articles much like this one and I realized I'm not the only one. Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, and my feelings are valid.

To everyone who feels this way, you aren't alone.

I thought I was for the longest time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I didn't understand how I could feel this way. But please, I implore you to talk to someone, anyone, about the way you're feeling; whether it be a family member, significant other, a friend, a therapist.

My biggest mistake all these years was never telling anyone how I feel in fear that they would either brush me off because “who could be suicidal but not want to die," or panic and try to commit me to a hospital or something. Writing this article has been the greatest feeling of relief I've felt in a long time, talking about it helps. I know it's scary to tell people how you're feeling, but you're not alone and you don't have to go through this alone.

Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, your feelings are valid, and there are people here for you, you are not alone.

If you're thinking about hurting yourself please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit suicidepreventionhotline.org to live chat with someone. Help it out there and you are not alone.


Cover Image Credit: BengaliClicker

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

I'm Proud Of Myself For Making Silly Mistakes To Encourage Myself To Work Twice As Hard Than Before

I have learned to understand myself by loving myself!

27
views

After these new year's resolutions, I genuinely feel proud of myself. Usually we question ourselves about the decisions we have made throughout the day and wonder if things would turn differently if we hadn't made this choice. What if I didn't have these caring friends? What if I didn't move to Forsyth County? What if I stayed in New York? We battle these inner thoughts constantly wondering how our lives could have changed, but instead, we should be proud of ourselves and what have accomplished in order to get us where we are here today!

I am proud of choosing such amazing friends to surround myself with.

These friends aren't fake. When I'm around them, I can act normal, and they love me just the way I am. These friends know my ups and downs and are always prepared to help me whenever I need it.

SEE ALSO: 25 Reasons Why My Friends Are The Icing To My Cupcake

I am proud of making tough decisions and challenging myself this year.

Stepping out of your comfort zone and be fearless. You must not take the easy path and only make simple decisions in your life. Instead challenge yourself. Maybe join a new club or take a class that is far out of your field. Who knows that could be the most best thing that ever happened to you!

I am proud of improving academically.

It is very easy to beat yourself up when you do not get the grades you hoped for. However when we achieve this success, we never celebrate the accomplishments. Sure, we tell our parents about the good grade, and they say they are proud of you, but we should love ourselves for how hard we work for that accomplishment. And after that, we should work even harder than before to get the grades we want. There's no one stopping us.

I am proud of myself for getting out of bed.

Sometimes, I just don't feel like getting out of bed because I know I have so much to do; I have to write two essays, study for four tests and I haven't started the 20-page study guide for AP biology. All I want to do on a Sunday is stay in bed and have my laptop near me so that I can watch Netflix for the whole day. However, I think you will feel so much better about yourself if you get up and accomplish everything you have on your to-do list that is full of things that you don't want to.

SEE ALSO: As An Experienced Junior Who Screwed Up Her High School Years, Here's How To Avoid Making The Same Mistakes

Lastly, I am proud of who I am today.

Be proud of the goals you have set for yourself because you have a lifetime ahead of you to complete everything on your bucket list that you wish to accomplish. Go out there, experience new things and be proud that you love fiercely. Be proud that you are living the life you desired for and for being who you are. Never change yourself for someone else no matter what!

Related Content

Facebook Comments