Every game day it was ritual; headphones on, shoes on, jersey on — everything else out. It was just you and the game you loved, representing a place you loved and nothing else in that moment mattered. So how do you figure out what matters when you don’t have the game anymore? When you lose what, at one point, was the very essence of who you were? The buzzer has sounded, you’ve shaken hands, everyone has left the stand…And now what? In every athlete’s life there comes a point where you are forced to take your jersey off for that last and final time. It’s inevitable. However, who really knows the proper way to say goodbye and move on? Like a bad breakup, you have to take the time to heal properly. So, like a breakup, here are some necessary steps for learning to get over the sport you loved so dearly.

1. Find a rebound.

When you truly love the game, you put in hours of sweat and tears. What fills those hours when it is all over? Well, that’s the thing about being an athlete, you're athletic and capable of using your athletic ability in different areas. Try finding a rebound sport or activity. Sure, it won’t be the same as the one you loved, but that’s also kind of the point. Find time to enjoy killing yourself doing other things. Who knows? You might just find something you enjoy more (only kidding).

2. Take the time to find yourself again.

Like any long-term relationship, sometimes parts of who you become intertwined with those people, and sports, that you love so much. It is only healthy to take some time to rediscover your genuine self. So go ahead, spend hours curled up with a book or riding your longboard. Go paint your nails or binge watch your favorite series on Netflix (again). Do those small things that make you feel the most like yourself, and enjoy doing them. Realizing that you are still you without your game is vital to moving on (and learning how to appreciate yourself outside of a stat-line or post-game report).

3. Learn how to be friends.

You’re a passionate competitor. How can you play the game you love and not throw yourself back into it? Everyone needs time and space in order to properly learn how to not love someone, or something, again. Even though part of you will always love them. Learning how to be friends with your game is important, especially when it is something you truly love (more than anything in the world). After you’ve taken some time to explore some other interests and yourself, find a way back to the game you love. It will never be the same, but making amends with the end of your career, and learning that you can still play without being a player is important to coping with the loss.

Your sports career has ended, but your life definitely hasn’t. Sure, you aren’t “so-and-so, freak athlete and offensive star,” but you are still you, and it’s about time you found out exactly how special that can be.