Dear Swoonie B,
I slid into this really cute guy's DMs (He's a lax boy. Mmm, amirite?) and it started off pretty well. However, I could tell he started to lose interest in talking to me because he started to send one-word answers, and would leave me on delivered for hours, and sometimes days even though I could see that he was active like 5 minutes ago. This week, I managed to start a conversation with him again and he actually answered in sentences!! But then I got too nervous and OK, excited, and I accidentally made it awkward by going a lil overboard with the ego-boosting. He left me on Read. What can I do to bring his interest back/fix the situation? Or should I even pursue him at all?
Let me start by sharing a little something my friends and I like to say to each other whenever one of us is hung up on a guy:
HE SHOULD BE SO LUCKY.
In other words, this "lax bro" would be absolutely BLESSED to have you in his life. If he's not taking the time to talk to you, then quite frankly, he doesn't deserve you. He is out of his damn mind if he thinks he can take days to respond and leave you on read whenever he wants (unless, of course, the conversation was actually over).
The problem is, people continue to do the things we don't like them doing because we make excuses for their behavior and continue to make them think it's OK. By responding to his texts whenever he wants, you're giving him far to much power over your emotions and time.
Take the power back and remind yourself that you do not have to put up with the bullsh*t if you don't want to. It was your choice to DM him, so you can also decide when to end it because he's taking up far too much free rent space in your mind.
Bottom line? He's not playing "hard to get," he's just not worthy. Trust me, I've been there. Many times. It's normal to be bummed and to want to make it work, but what I've learned is this:
You can't force a square peg into a round hole. If it's not right, it won't fit. Right now you're trying to force it.
In case the red flags are unclear to you, though, let me point out the ones I picked up on just from the small paragraph you sent me (yes, friends are fab for this, but outside advice is sometimes key to finally seeing a situation clearly):
- He gives one-word answers. Conversations can't happen with one person carrying them on and one-word answers are a clear sign that he's just not putting in the effort, so he doesn't deserve you.
- He takes hours or days to respond. If he's not excited enough to text you back, he doesn't deserve you.
- He left you on read. If he is disrespectful enough to read your message and not answer for days, he doesn't deserve you.
- He's a lax boy. No, the red flag is not that he's a lacrosse player, but that you led with this fact. Sure, athletes are hot (I get it), but athletes who are actually nice? Mmm, amirite? THE HOTTEST. Find another one who treats you the way you should be treated! Don't let the uniform blind you to the fact that HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU.
In the end, I have faith that you'll do whatever is best for you when you're ready. Until then, I'm sending you so much love and strength.
Now, in case you need a girl's night!
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