Dear body,

This is painfully hard and it's only the first sentence. At 20 years old, I'm ready to talk openly with you. I need to ask for your forgiveness. I hope you can feel the apologetic tone in my voice as I pour my soul into this letter.

I have always been so hateful towards you and sometimes even avoided mirrors because I thought you were awful. I have spent hours crying because clothes didn't fit the way they were supposed to or just because I didn't feel confident enough to embrace my day. You didn't deserve that.

The moment I became aware that sometimes people only looked at what I looked like and not what was inside was probably the worst moment of my life. Because then I'd strive to have a body “worth wanting” and naturally, I never once thought you were “worth wanting.” You asked me to love you, but I cursed you with every fiber of my being. I hated you. So this is my apology.

To my thighs,

I'm so sorry for shaming you. And covering you as often as possible because I thought you were not as toned as hers or as tan as hers. There's no such thing as a thigh gap when it comes to you and that's quite alright. You're perfect the way you are. You're strong and you are loved, by me.

To my stomach,

I'm so sorry for loathing you. Also for never letting anyone see you and if they did, apologizing for being fat and telling them not to look at you. You are not fat. You're wonderful. And I embrace you. Just because you aren't completely flat, doesn't mean you're flawed.

To my breasts,

You have always been big. You came from nowhere when I turned 13 years old. You made the boys tease me and I hated you. I wanted to be flat chested like all the other 13 year old girls. But hey, being the woman I am now, I understand how beautiful, sensual and womanly you are. I accept you.

To my face,

There were some parts of you I despised. Well, honestly it was all of you. I couldn't stand the way you looked without makeup. I assumed everyone thought I was a zombie. But now I've learned to love every inch of you. From my small nose, to my big eyes, and full lips. Even my subtle freckles. I like all of you. Because you are mine and no one else's. So thank you for making me different from everyone else.

I have wasted far too many years wishing you were something different than you are. All I've done is focus on the bad, never the good. Putting it all in perspective, I have come to realize that you were given to me. You were entrusted to me as an earthly vessel as I take on this life. I just need you to know that I love you, every inch of you. I want you, and would not trade you. And I accept you for what you are. Beautiful.

Thank you for carrying my heart and soul. We only have so long together. So let’s make this life count.

Forever and always,