I'm not going to lie to you. The truth is, I do not have anything to talk about to this week. I do, however, need to post an article either way. I have left my beautiful editor in chief and loyal friend hanging for a couple of days now, as my deadline was Saturday and it is currently 12 am Tuesday morning. That's not fair or very nice of me (sorry Rik, I do love you so).
If you have been actually reading my articles since September, you might be able to tell that I have been slacking off when it comes to creating content. The articles I have been posting are definitely not as good as they could or should be, and do not by any means meet my own standards.
I have been blessed with the opportunity of being able to voice my opinions and communicate with people via these articles, and that is something I have taken for granted. As someone who studies communications, communicating should be a top priority - and I have definitely failed at making it one. With school and work taking up most of my time, I have definitely pushed the Odyssey to the side.
Lately, every time I go to write an article, I am unable to gather any sort of motivation or inspiration. It's like all of my creative abilities melt and I am left staring at a blank Word document. When I do create content, I'm never pleased with it and know it's just to get something out there for the week to meet my deadline. By the time the end of the week comes, all of my energy and creativity has gone elsewhere, leaving nothing for me to say.
This frustrates the perfectionist and creative mind inside of me, who wants everything I do to be the absolute best it can be. It also turns me off from writing and makes it really difficult to create anything at all. It makes me dread the weekly deadline. It makes me want to give up.
I want to create great things. It is all I have ever wanted to do. It is the only thing I have ever been sure of. Although I do not believe that writing is exactly it for me, I know that I should be using this platform to express and challenge myself to create things, even if it is out of my comfort zone.
I am sorry. To myself, and to everyone else. I am sorry for not trying harder. I am sorry for posting my articles past the deadline (later and later each week, might I add). I am sorry for wasting your time with nonsense articles. I am sorry for not believing that I am good enough to write. Whether you have cared enough to read up until this point or not, I am sorry.
I am also sorry that I am currently typing this sentence in order to reach 500 words.
I will try harder.
xoxo,
Deanna
