Dear Me,

I think I owe you an apology. I know I haven't been treating you right the majority of the time I've known you. See; you could cut all ties with a lover or a best friend and never speak to them again, but with yourself, there's none of that. Running away isn't an option. You're stuck with yourself for the rest of your time on this earth whether you like it or not; for better or for worse. There's no escaping, no simple loophole around it. So if I'm going to be stuck with you for the rest of my days, I might as well acknowledge some things and make those things right.

Firstly, I'm sorry for setting unrealistic expectations for you and getting upset when anything is less than perfect. I'm sorry for being so hard on you about everything; academics, social life, appearance, even mental health. I picked out every single one of your flaws and dwelled on it until you believed they were the only things that defined you. I'm sorry for that time in middle school when you bursted out into tears in the hallway because you received a C on a test and it wasn't an A. I know now that perfection is impossible to achieve, and I'm slowly beginning to learn to accept that.

I'm sorry for spending hours upon hours attempting to capture the perfect photo of you only to edit it and add countless filters on it because I thought you weren't attractive enough for social media. I'm sorry for comparing you to every girl and expecting you to attain the same beauty standards. You are good enough the way you are at this present moment and you don't need photoshop or makeup or any of that. You are enough, and I'm sorry for not realizing that sooner. You don't need to be anybody. The only person you need to be is you.

I'm sorry for holding you back from doing things you wanted to do because I instilled fear into your bones and told you "Why even bother trying if you're just going to fail anyway and make a fool out of yourself?" I'm sorry for robbing you of happiness and filling your brain with only negative thoughts; blocking out all the good. I'm sorry for inspecting every situation as if it was a science experiment and examining it from every possible angle; even imaginary ones that didn't actually exist.

I'm sorry that your worst enemy wasn't the bully on the playground or the kid who sat next to you in class or within some virtual chat room -- it was me.

I'm not saying that I'm going to be perfect from now on and not have slip-ups every once in a blue moon because I'm only human; humans make mistakes. I do, however, need to be kinder to you and not expect you to be perfect because as I said before, perfect doesn't exist. I'm saying that I'm going to try harder and treat you like the precious flower you are. I'm going to try to do better; for you, for us.