8 Things My Anxiety Has Told Me

8 Things My Anxiety Has Told Me

There is a difference between what is happening and what your anxiety told you.

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If there is one thing I have learned is that at 2 am, its hard to tell what reality is, when I am in sheer panic because I feel overwhelmed, it's hard to tell if I will survive. It's easy to doubt yourself when there is a voice in the back of your head telling you, that you won't succeed. This is an inside look at that list, and at all the things that my anxiety make me believe.

1. My anxiety told me I'm not good enough 

Good enough

This is a common story I start to believe at 2 am: that I am not good enough for him, that I am not good enough to do well in my life, that I am not good enough to deserve any better than what I settle for. When I think about all the things I want to accomplish in my life, there is a little voice in the back of my head that says no, you aren't good enough sweetie. That voice is wrong.

2. My anxiety told me I will fail

why do i even bother?

So why bother try? I ask myself this all the time. Why apply to that job, you aren't going to get it? Why even bother? Well I am glad you asked anxiety, because if I try than I still gain, if I don't try than you win. Don't let your anxiety make you feel like you cant be successful because if you do than you are letting your anxiety win and we don't want that.

3. My anxiety told me I am drowning 

Drowning

This isn't always a bad thing. A lot of times when my anxiety makes me feel like I am drowning in school work I am more motivated to get it done. However there are times when this is crimpling, when it is numbing, when it honestly hurts to feel like you cant breathe and the only reason is one you cant explain. There are times when I honestly feel stuck like I am underwater, when I am sure that I will stop breathing, when my chest feels so heavy I can't move. This is when I start to believe my anxiety.

4. My anxiety told me you don't want me 

Crying

This one hurts. This one keeps digging into me. It opens up the scar tissue of my heart and when it does, it bleeds. My anxiety told me that you don't want me, that I am nothing to you, that everything I thought we had didn't mean anything to you. This one kills me, you can tell me a million times how much you care but all I hear is the mean things you said, if you're questioning us, and it makes me so confused. When we don't talk for a day, it starts to creep in when all I hear is you don't care, you don't want me. So when I ask questions, it's not me, it's my heart trying to make sense of what is real and what my anxiety has told me.

5. My anxiety told me I did something wrong 

Depression

I feel this one a lot. I feel that someone is mad at me, and when I ask, it's always a no. It's hard to feel like you are always doing something wrong, and that everyone is always mad at you. It makes the distance between people really hard because my anxiety never fails to creep forward and say, "You did something wrong."

6. My anxiety told me you feel alone for a reason

Loneliness

My anxiety told me that I feel alone for a reason BECAUSE I am alone. Feeling like you're alone is one of the worst feelings. It makes me push away because I don't know who to depend on. It makes me feel like no one will understand, that no one cares. So I go from being alone to feeling alone and it doesn't get better, it gets worse as time goes on.

7. My anxiety told me there is never enough 

Never enough

There is never enough time, never enough money in my bank account, never enough clothes in my closet, never enough likes on my Instagram. No matter what I do, when they anxiety rolls in, its hard to feel content. This issue of not having enough also turns into not doing enough. No matter how overwhelmed I feel, I never feel like I am doing enough, studying enough, being involved enough, being social enough. It's a cycle that ends up leaving a knot in my stomach.

8. My anxiety told me it will never stop

Breakdown

There are moments when you have an attack and it feels like you won't survive, that the pain will never stop. It hurts, it digs at you. This is wrong. It will stop. It will be okay. It is only temporary.

Anxiety is a hard thing to deal with, no matter how severe. It's hard to feel good when you are lying on the floor in pain, but it's also important to remember there is a difference between what is real, and what your anxiety told you.

**If you or someone who know, suffers for anxiety, there is a hotline that can provide help even during an attack. Call at: National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Helpline: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)***

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Sorry I'm A Size 00

But I'm not really sorry.
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My whole life I’ve been thin—which is kind of an understatement. Every time I go to the doctor I get the same “you’re underweight” lecture that I’ve heard every year since I was able to form memories. I’ve never really felt insecure about my weight, I love being able to eat everything and not gain a single pound. Since my freshman year of high school I’ve probably only gained 8 pounds and I’m now a sophomore in college. Of course, in school, there were rumors that I was anorexic or bulimic, but everyone who knew me knew that was far from the truth. I’m now 19, 5’2, and I still have yet to break 100 pounds on the scale. It seems that there is a lot of skinny shaming going around and to me, one of the main contributors to that is the Dove Real Beauty campaign.

You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this because skinny girls get all the praise and other body types are neglected. That’s really not true, though. While loving other body types, you are tearing down skinny girls. Why is it okay to do that to skinny girls but not to other body types? Why is it okay to say “only dogs like bones” or say “every body type is beautiful” until you see a model's abs, or ribs, or thigh gap and then tear them down because they’re “unnaturally” skinny?



The point I’m trying to make is that, as a naturally skinny girl, I have never shamed anyone for their body type, yet I go every day and get at least two comments about my weight. I’m always the skinny girl, the toothpick, but I’m not Jessica. Yeah, I’m a size 00. Get over it. If you have an issue with my body and feel like my body is disgusting to you, don’t look at it. I know that I’m healthy and I don’t need your input when my body just naturally burns calories fast. I don’t have an eating disorder and never have. I am real beauty though, and I know that because I’m comfortable in my own skin. So maybe the real issue is that we as a society have been shoving certain body types down our daughters’ throats so they begin to romanticize models that have certain standards that they have to meet, who work hard for the bodies that they have, and are making a hell of a lot more money than most of the people discussing why they look emaciated while what they’re actually looking at is the photoshopped product.

I’m not going to apologize for being skinny when that is just how my body is, I can’t help it. So please, stop tearing my body down while trying to bring your body up. You can praise your body without shaming skinny girls. Shaming me for being thin does not make you better than the man that shamed your body, just as me shaming you for being curvy does not make me better than the man that shamed my body. As women, we need to love each other because we are the only ones who truly understand each other.


Cover Image Credit: Victoria's Secret Untouched

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10 Facts That You Need To Know And Keep In Mind When It Comes To Mental Health

Mental health is an important topic to talk about

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Mental health is a serious subject that we need to start talking about and breaking down the stigma that comes with mental health and mental illness. I'm a strong believer that a person's mental health is just as important as someone's physical health. Here are 10 facts about mental health that you should know about.

1. Mental illness is common

https://oneinfive.com.au/

According to Mental Health, in 2014, "One in five American adults experienced a mental health issue," while, "One in 25 Americans lived with a serious mental illness, such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or major depression." (Mental Health, 2014)

2. Suicide is one of the leading causes of death

https://www.bioedge.org/bioethics/is-suicide-different-from-physician-assisted-death/12771

It is the tenth overall cause of death in the United States. In 1980, there were 26,869 deaths when it came to suicide where in 2016, the number was at 44,965. (National Center for Health Statistics, 2016)

3. People with mental health problems are good employees

http://www.blufftonsun.com/good-employee-relations-foster-loyalty-growth-cms-237

It is reported that they have good attendance, punctuality, they are motivated, and they produce good work.

4. The signs and symptoms of mental illness include:

http://www.tpr.org/post/how-can-we-change-minds-about-mental-health

Feeling sad, burned out, or useless that last more than a period of two weeks. If someone has ongoing worries/fears, sudden fear/panic, physical symptoms that can't be explained (like headaches or chronic pain), lack of energy, and when they want to spend their time by themselves instead of with other people, that's a sign of a mental illness.

5. There are a lot of treatment options, services, and community support systems

https://www.findtreatmenttoday.org/mental-health

Studies show that people get better and most people recover completely. And they also show that they work in helping the patient get better.

6. There are many factors that contribute to mental health problems

http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/b4stage4-get-informed

Biological factors (genes, illness, brain chemistry), life experiences (trauma/abuse), and mental health problems in the family are just some factors that contribute to mental health problems.

7. People around you can make a difference

https://www.everypixel.com/image-4127722291700857603

There are ways that you can help someone with mental illnesses, like being there for them and not defining them by the illness that they have. There are so many ways that you can help someone with mental illness.

8. Generally, people that have a mental illness are not violent

https://www.shutterstock.com/video/clip-20200603-group-positive-mixed-race-young-people-having

There are only a small part of those with mental illness that are violent in any way. According to USC, they state, "...only 3-5% of violent acts can be attributed to people with a serious mental illness." (USC, 2017).

9. People who are a part of the LGBTQ+ community are twice as likely to have a mental health condition than those who are not a part of the LGBTQ+ community

https://www.youngisthan.in/opinions/lgbtq-people-reveal-hide-sexuality/55808

10. By the age of fourteen, half of all mental health disorders show first signs.

http://fancycrave.com/group-of-friends-partying-on-the-beach-during-sunset/

Then by age twenty-four, three quarters of mental health disorders begin.

Remember that mental health is important. People who have mental illness are not inferior to someone who doesn't have a mental illness. Mental illnesses are different for everyone who has it.

Let's start breaking down the stigma.

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