Dear curse of my existence, an indecent excuse, a passionate enemy,

How and why do you manage to keep showing up at the worst possible times? Whether it be at a social event, during a speech, attending a party, etc. No offense, but those are the worst times to show up, even if you want to have a great connection with a person. Just as I am about to convince myself I may have a hold on things, you always find a way to sneak into my life.

But I seem to never forget when you butt in into all of my conversations. When you jump in at anytime, I tend to overanalyze every movement, facial expression, of the person or friend that I am interacting with. No matter what the occupation is, you always make me ponder, What if they hate me? What if I just said something completely and entirely stupid?

Don't even mentioning texting! With you by my side, the typing symbol the three dots, and completely comes at ease makes it a very nerve-racking situation. Or even a simple, "Hey." It is a matter of life and death.

Maybe it would be much easier if you were an actual person to have engaging conversations with and hear your side of the story. But obviously, you're not a person. You are a thing that interferes with my life every single day. Firstly, you approached me with the mention of social anxiety disorder. But as time went by, you earned a more special name — generalized anxiety disorder.

How does it make you feel if you go out in a public place and have the fear of ordering food or even having eyes follow you around the grocery store? Yeah, you do that quite often than I can describe.

You're the reason I need to take a Valium or Xanax every time I have panic attacks at a high dose.

All in all you, you are not me and don't define who I am.