When you have anxiety, it sometimes feels that your whole world is one giant mess. Any little thing can trigger a panic attack, fear or racing thoughts. I have been diagnosed with chronic anxiety for over eight years...and some days, it feels like I'm still figuring out how to handle myself. Whether I have "down time" or just hanging out with friends, if I overthink it...I end up ruining my whole experience because of fear. I play this "what if" game in my mind with my grades, friends, boyfriend and my future. Sometimes it's hard to simply take a deep breath and focus on the here and now.

Sometimes my friends and family don't understand where I'm coming from, and I don't fault them for it. They don't have my problem. Not going to lie, though...it gets frustrating when you have very few people that understand what you're feeling; even when it's for no logical reason. Over my eight years of tears, thinking, panic attacks and racing thoughts I have learned a lot about myself as a person. Even though anxiety is such a common problem for many people, very few know how to handle a situation where anxiety gets in the way of everyday life. Even a common task can trigger unwanted feeling and emotions. We're not crazy, just in tune with our feelings more than others. We analyze the situation over 100 times and think of every scenario that could go wrong. Not going to lie...sometimes it's exhausting. Sometimes I wish I could give my friends and family a list telling them what I wish they would do in situations like this. I found that a few things help with handling someone with anxiety...

Be There For Us

Sounds simple, right? Well, when you have a panic attack or are stressing out over little things simply being a constant in someone's life gives them comfort. Sometimes we like our space, but just being there and saying "I'm here for you" does wonders. It assures us that you're not frustrated and will be patient with us. I have had many people that don't understand what anxiety really is, in turn, they get frustrated and give up. Even if you don't understand, ask questions. It's easier for us to tell you what's wrong and it helps break down a problem and gives you a little bit of comfort knowing someone is always by your side.

Don't Get Frustrated With Us

In my experience, friends and family get a little bit frustrated when talking to a person with anxiety. We have racing thoughts and go through every possible scenario in our heads and replay them over and over. We obsess. It's not fun. We don't chose to do this. I think that's what people don't understand when talking to a person with anxiety. If we could get over our problems...believe me we would. It would make our lives so much easier. Sometimes we need to be told things repeatedly just to get the message through our brain. We hear what you're saying to us, it's just applying it is the difficult part.

We Have Really Good Days...And Really Bad Days

You know when you wake up in the morning and you can immediately tell when it's going to be a good day? Well, people with anxiety are really in tune with their feelings. Some more than others. When I have a good day, my racing thoughts are calm and I feel like I have control over my emotions. We have bad days too. Everyone has bad days. But for people with anxiety, our bad days can spiral down quick. Our thoughts sometimes dictate our emotions and we can't stop them. How do we cope? Some cope by isolation, and that's OK...we all need a little space. However, I on the other hand cry and try to talk it out with someone. I could be upset about school or a friend...but I go through every scenario in my head and exhaust all of the problems. Sometimes I let one bad thing ruin my whole day. When we have those bad days, just remember that what's going through our mind is controlling us. We need a distraction sometimes. What helps me are walks on the beach and long drives. Sometimes you need to clear your head.

Relationships Can Be A Challenge

Loving someone with anxiety, or even having anxiety yourself can be difficult in a relationship. Relationships are hard to begin with. Loving yourself is key. I constantly have to remind myself of the obvious: he loves me, everything is OK, one fight does not determine the future of a relationship. People with anxiety love hard, we fall hard and love that person with all of our strength. They are our comfort, support and safety net. However, I find myself needing to take a deep breath and remind myself that anxiety does not control me, and it does not control my relationship. It's also difficult when you and your spouse are going through something (ex. fighting) and your anxiety kicks in and starts to affect your relationship. Now you're worrying about things you have no control over or you go to an extreme in your head of the worst possible scenario (ex. breaking up) I do this all the time. I'm lucky enough to have found a person who understands my anxiety and knows that I and my anxiety are two different things. It's a difficult concept for some people to grasp. You learn more about yourself and your partner as you go through the motions of your anxiety together.

Panic Attacks Are Real

When someone with anxiety experiences a panic attack, it feels like the walls are slowly closing in on you. Your breath gets faster and faster and your heart feels like it's about to leap out of your chest. It's a fight or flight moment for us. These panic attacks can happen due to stress, certain triggers, or randomly. I have had a few experiences where I'm about to go into a test or I'm just in my room and my heart rate quickly goes up. When I experience these panic attacks, my boyfriend freaks out. He says "What can I do? What can I do?" and sometimes I can't even answer him. These attacks drain my energy emotionally and physically. After, what I find best is to take a long nap or tune people out with music. Now, someone with anxiety can't imagine something like this happening...well think of it as a heart attack (minus the dying). But at that moment, we feel like the world is about to end. I have had people get upset and frustrated with me because I had a random panic attack and couldn't do anything about it. Just remember, it's not in our control. If we could flip a switch and turn these panic attacks off for good...we would.

As I learn to control my anxiety, I become more in tune to what my triggers are and how I can control my reaction. It's hard for a type "A" personality like myself to live with anxiety because we want to control everything. In a perfect world, I would. Some of my triggers are friends, family, school and work. Just like everyone else, this is where our stress comes from. Sometimes I let one bad thing effect my whole day. My worries sit in the pit of my chest where it alters everything from my mood to how I write an essay. Living with that fear is exhausting. It takes a toll on you emotionally and physically to the point where you can barely handle yourself. That's why it's important to find those people who understand what you're going through. They make all of the stress and the tears feel like you're not alone.

Sometimes I forget that other people have anxiety. It's easy to feel alone and no one understands you. I've felt that way far too many times. Sometimes I'm hesitant to mention to others that I have anxiety. There's a certain stigma that goes along with having it. For example, some people think we are overly sensitive, or we self - diagnosed ourselves. To a certain degree, everyone has a little anxiety. However, it comes in a wide variety of forms. It can control someone's life to a point where you constantly live in fear. Most people don't know that. Medicine can help, therapy can help too, but it's something you have to live with the rest of your life. Just because you don't see the disease, doesn't mean that it isn't there.