Anxiety has become an all too familiar word in everyday conversations. I have come to realize that more and more people are struggling with this internal battle that seemingly never ends. I know this because I go through it as well. Unless you have experienced the overwhelming worry that comes with it, you are not expected to understand it, and that's OK.
Being a girl with anxiety, I know that I am not always the easiest person to handle. My useless, excessive worrying can sometimes take control of me, and I lose myself. I begin pushing people away with my negativity and frustration. There is no explaining what triggers all of it. Sometimes, it just comes to the surface with no warning and tries to pull me down with it.
Recently, I experienced an anxiety attack like I've never endured before. I was doing work for a class and all of a sudden, it hit me out of nowhere. It was as if my thoughts were screaming inside my head. I couldn't calm them down. It was as if I was in gut-wrenching pain on the inside, but you would never know it seeing me from the outside. I could no longer continue what I was doing. I was paralyzed. I was screaming for help on the inside, but no one could hear me. In all my life, I have never felt more alone and trapped.
Finally, I forced myself to move. I got up, was able to breathe, and slowly, the feeling dwindled. There was nothing more imprisoning than that exact feeling. That is an experience that was nearly traumatizing and one I will never forget, but now I have decided to fight back.
I will no longer be a prisoner to my anxiety.
Still having immature thought processes at my age, I have struggled with learning how to cope with such strong emotions. With help from loved ones, I have slowly been able to recognize when I am being overcome by my worries and how to stop it. The worries are usually driven by irrational causes. I truly cannot explain the cause sometimes, as much as I wish I could. The worries then lead to overthinking, which results in pure negativity. I know it's hard for others to understand, but I am immensely grateful for the people I have in my life that don't give up on me, even when it's extremely difficult.
Personally, I know I have an amazing life. I truly cannot think of many complaints I would have. This is a thought that aids in pulling me from the darkness that my anxiety casts over me. The key is maintaining positivity.
There are also other things to get my mind off of the troubles at hand. I could work out, read a book or write out all of my feelings to relieve some of the pressure from my chest. If you struggle with anxiety as well, maybe some of those solutions can help you, too.
It has been difficult to open up like this about the things I experience. I am just hoping that since I did, I could help others who go through it themselves.
Just always keep in mind that you are never alone, and your anxiety does not define the unique person you are.
