thinking about long-term relationships

Don’t Anticipate The End Of A Relationship Before It Even Starts

The fear of getting hurt is valid, but the amount of growth can outweigh the fear in the long term.


If you're not going to marry him, you're probably going to break up with him. And if you don't see yourself marrying the person you are with, then what's the point of even being with them, right? Whenever you throw yourself into a relationship with someone, you risk the chance of heartbreak, and who the hell wants to go through that?

So, should we only date to marry?

Many people fear the end of a relationship before it even starts. As soon as they start to get attached to someone, they force themselves to pull away because they think this is a better option than risking a bad outcome. It's really scary to jump into something without knowing how it's going to turn out. Feeling vulnerable is intimidating, but a lot of times, it's necessary. I don't want to discount the fear of getting hurt because it's definitely valid, but I think the experience and benefits that could come from a relationship may outweigh the heartbreak in the end.

I don't think the sole purpose of going out with someone is to marry them. Different people can be important to you at different points in your life. They can help you grow as a person and realize things about yourself that you may not have learned had you never gone out with them. Not only that, but you can learn what kind of partner you are. You can learn what kind of person compliments you, what you need to get from a relationship, and what you're not willing to have in one.

Personally, as a 19-year-old college student, the very last thing on my mind is marriage. Call me crazy, but right now, I'm trying to make friends, have fun, and get good grades in school. I think a lot of fellow students would relate to this. That does not mean, however, that we cannot or should not be having relationships with significant others. Just to be clear, the single life is great. It's a ton of fun, and this article is not just meant to advocate dating someone. It's great to focus on yourself, and you should. All I'm saying is that it's important to trust yourself at the moment and see where something leads you. Try not to worry too much about what the future holds. If you are happy with someone else, allow yourself to be.

Isn't it okay to just have fun with someone without thinking so long term? You can create memories, have inside jokes, share laughs, have interesting conversations. If you enjoy someone's company, then I encourage you to see where it takes you. Why do we need to plan our whole lives out right now? Some good company may be all you need at this point in your life, and that's okay.

Yes, you learn from success, but I'd argue you learn more from pain, struggle, and heartbreak. Being in a relationship can be hard occasionally, and it can take work. Having both positive and negative experiences helps you grow as a person.

No doubt, the end of a relationship sucks. It can feel like the end of the world, but it's important to remember it's not. It's different for everyone, and it could take a long time to get over a breakup, but that doesn't mean you won't. In the end, I guarantee you'll be a better you because of it.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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