Last March, my relationship with a guy I had been dating for almost two years had ended. I was a second semester senior consumed with a relationship I had been prioritizing over my friends, my family, and myself. From the outside, our relationship seemed flawless, however, from the inside I constantly found myself changing to meet the proper "girlfriend" standard. I wore his jersey at football games; I stopped dressing up for spirit days because I was afraid of making a fool of myself in front of him; I was changing from an independent being to a dependent girlfriend.
When we broke up I knew I had to give myself the time I needed to become me again. Many people automatically assume that a "rebound" will help them recover from a brutal breakup, but I knew the one thing I needed was time. It was not about fixing my heartbreak- it was about returning to my old self again (minus the braces of course). All through high school, I witnessed one of my best friends be perfectly single: she was a nationally ranked athlete, the most intelligent person I have ever met, she was incredibly beautiful, and she was completely anti-guy. Every guy wanted her, but she completely disregarded them in order to focus on herself. I came to the conclusion that I needed one year acting just like my friend from high school. One full year all to myself. No boyfriends, no kissing boys, not even owning a guy's number- all to prove to myself that I could excel on my own without the help of a boyfriend.
I did not tell a soul about my "Anti-Guy Movement". It was one of the only things I was doing intrinsically to help me rediscover the girl I was two years ago and my goal was to keep it to myself. I wanted to focus on school, focus on making incredible friends, and focus on turning myself into a better person. Striving to meet my personal goals surpassed being anti-guy — I became a person I really enjoy being. Having a full year to attain my ideal self was beyond necessary.
In retrospective, a year does not seem that long. However, going through it seemed like a century. I went through 75 percent of my freshman year in college without any guy in the picture, I have never taken a guy to any date dash or an invite, heck I even went to prom with my dog (pictured below).
I learned an incredible amount about being alone and had the ability to be selfish for the first time in my life. I truly had nobody to worry about aside from me, which was an extremely aberrant feeling. I discovered what independence really feels like. I figured there is going to be no other time in my life for which I would have the ability to live and strive completely independent, thus, I took advantage of this year: I stopped obsessing over my phone to see if I got a text from a cute guy, I got so close to the friends I met in college, I shaved my legs whenever I wanted to. My "Anti-Guy Movement" was a year of rediscovery that I am beyond thankful for.
There is so much more to life than just boys. I was heartbroken, lost in someone else's life, and just need a break. Taking a year being completely single was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life and I am beyond grateful for it.
