Relationships can make one's life better; seeing new perspectives, or trying things that you never would have otherwise. Without a doubt, these characteristics can make you a more well-rounded person, which is great. But how can you expand yourself in a beneficial way if you don't get to know yourself first?
For a lot of young adults, myself included, college is a time to find yourself and be independent in the world. In my life this looks like trying things independently, and then asking for help when that point comes. Beyond this, I am determined to set my boundaries high and achieve all that I set out to do. Accomplishing this, I need to understand who I am and what my strengths and weakness are.
I have lost count of the times when people have been shocked when they find out that I have never had a boyfriend. The first few times I received this reaction were a shock to me. The way they respond with “oh,” always has a hint of pity.
It is reactions like these that make me inclined to say that, in society being single is often frowned upon and not considered the “norm.” People in generations above mine expect young adults to be exploring in this area of their lives too. After my first year in college, the burning question changed from, “How do you like college?” to “Do you have a boyfriend?” And with that we come back full circle.
Well, I am here to ask you to not feel sorry for the single people that you know. It seems that more often than not, we get looked down upon in society just because we don't have someone to buy a Valentine's Day card for in February. News flash! The world is not going to end.
In fact, being single has been my choosing, and it has been treating me great for the past 19 years I have been alive. Sure, I have had the desire to have a boyfriend, but then I actually think about what that would entail and realize that hasn't been the best option for my life. When people ask me why I don't have a boyfriend, a typical response can be “Because I am a strong independent women, and I don't need no man!”
Reflecting upon the first time I said this, I can honestly say that the strong and independent part was true, but also in the beginning stages. Every day that I wake up and extend myself beyond my comfort zone, I fill the shoes of that strong independent women that this quote refers to.
In my life, I need to be strong on my own, before I add in a guy to the equation. Besides, my dating philosophy is that I date guys for the purpose of marrying them. Right now, I am 19 and am working on my career and trying to figure out what God wants me to do with my life.
I don't want to be in a relationship with a guy because that is what I am supposed to do. My goal is to be in a relationship with someone who challenges me to be a better person, and to live for Christ more every day. For these reasons, I have high standards for my future boyfriend.
Some people have told me to not set my standards so high, but I will never listen. If there is one thing that i have learned it is this: set your standards high for your future mate, and then apply those standards to yourself. That way you will attract the guy who matches your ideals.
Being single and trying to live every day to my own set of standards has already made me a better person. Being single has shown me a lot of beauty in the world. All in all, being single is sometimes the medicine that one needs in life.
For whatever reason you find yourself in a spell of singleness, I challenge you to embrace it. Go all out and make the most of this time in your life. Live like you're young, and let your life unfold. It may surprise you what you learn along the way.
Most importantly, don't let anyone get you down for being single. Stand strong, and know that everything happens for a reason.
