I remember when I first met you. I remember the first time you made me cry, the first time you had caused an anxiety attack, the first time you caused my heart pain. You tore me apart, however, it was a slow burn rather than a quick attack.
At first, I didn't realize who you were. I didn't know how deeply you would cut me. You made me a liar. You made me a person other people didn't want to be around. You made me a person I didn't want to be around. You made my heart hurt every time you showed your face.
Around 3 million people meet you every year. Even with those statistics, I never thought we would ever meet. I thought I was someone who was happy. I thought I was someone who had it together. You proved me wrong. You proved me so, so wrong.
We met one day in 2008, we just became acquaintances then, only merely seeing each other every once in a while. 2009 was our year, though, we became best friends. Or rather you thought we were best friends. You dragged me everywhere with you--the dirt, the mud, the gravel, hell, and back. We quite literally went everywhere together. We stayed friends for a while after that too. 2010 flew by, literally because I was flying high on the pain you had given me that year. 2010 was a year that should have and could have been amazing. Looking back I wish I could have truly been there for those years; but this one, in particular, my dad got remarried to the most amazing woman, and I could not fully be there to celebrate or even truly remember the amazing day that it should have been. 2011-2012 was honestly a blur because of you. I cannot remember anything from those years--you made me forget, you made me want to forget.
These four years were the worst of my life. I experienced some things that people should never have to go through in their entire life. You made me loathe waking up in the morning. Going to bed and to sleep was the best part of my entire day. I didn't want to be around people and at this point in my life; people didn't want to be around me. You made people hate me. You ruined those years of my life.
I do want to thank you, though. You made me appreciate all of the good things I have in my life now. I am a sophomore in college now with an amazing lifestyle. My dad, stepmom, and I are now extremely close, and I wouldn't change that for the world. I am making friends and putting myself out there. I wouldn't have that if it weren't for you. After you, I wanted to be anything but how I was with you. For that, I will thank you. You made me want to be better. You made me want to be more human. You made me want to happy. And I am now, so thank you and I hate you!
Jessica Leigh
