10 Things you know after owning a juul

10 Things You Can 100 Percent Relate To If You've Ever Owned A Juul

Just me and my dope clouds.

384
views

The Juul is the gogo-pants, the jelly shoes, the bell-bottom jeans of the late 2010s. The Juul was made for everyone: recovering addicts, 15-year-olds, creepy 30-year-olds who peaked in high school, and lost and misguided college students (honestly, aren't we all). Here are some things you'll definitely agree with if you've ever owned (or lost) a Juul.

1. Parental confusion

There once was a magical time when high schoolers were able to ruin their lungs in the peace and quiet of the school bathroom. There once was a time when teenagers played their Juuls off as "flash drives," "chargers," and "USBs for school." It was a mint pod paradise. But just like the Garden of Eden, there had to be that one person that ruined it for everyone else. At some point, someone snitched. Soon, the dangers of teen vaping took over the nightly news. Before we could stop it, there were PTA meetings and "Moms Against Vaping" bumper stickers.

2. Naming and decorating it

Harboring a nicotine addiction requires a certain level of style and refinery. Everyone knows that Juuls with glitter, skins, and stickers are simply superior to the plain ones. Not all Juuls are created equal. Especially if you give it the name "Juulio," "Ferris Juuler," or "Angelina Juulie". Extra coolness points for "Juulius Ceaser."

3. Fiends

There are some things in life that aren't meant to be shared. Social security numbers, men, toothbrushes, bad poetry you wrote about your crush in high school, the list goes on. The same goes for the Juul. This is how mono happens, people. Leave me and my son alone.

4. The serial number trick

A popular finesse among veteran Juul users is to record the serial number on the front of the Juul and report it "broken" or "lost" on the Juul website. Bada-bing, bada-boom. Free Juul in the mail 3-5 business days later.

5. Being broke

Rent? Electricity? tUiTioN? Who even needs that stuff? Becoming a Juul owner comes with its own fiscal responsibilities, just like a new pet or a child. Expenses vary from pods, juice, chargers, and possibly medical bills.

6. Vape tricks

Chances are, you've sat yourself down at least once and attempted to blow some Os with a YouTube tutorial. It takes time and patience to nail the ghost, the dragon, and the French inhale. No shame.

7. Imposters

There are Phixes, Sourins, Stigs, all kinds of vapes that hopped on the fake Juul bandwagon once the original started gaining real traction in society. Nothing beats the original. You will always be the only one for me, my sweet Juul.

8. Health risks and addiction

Surprise, surprise. Unfortunately, it's been proven by the FDA that the Juul and its like devices pose serious health risks. This comes with a certain level of anxiety when it comes to lung health, and if you've been Juuling for awhile, chances are you pay extra attention to your breathing and sometimes worry about asthma, bronchitis, and more serious lung problems. In all seriousness, it's pretty scary how many people these days play off their nicotine addictions as no big deal.

9. When it gets lost/stolen

I once had this roommate whose worst fear was losing her beloved, special-edition red Juul. One Thursday night, this girl came back from Lion absolutely beside herself, as she was convinced that someone had stolen her prized and rare red Juul. She then spent the remainder of the night weeping and flopping around her bed, and cursing the gods for taking her precious best friend away from her. However, it was discovered the next morning that it actually had been sitting on the coffee table in our living room the whole time. Losing a Juul on a night out is easy due to its size and the likeliness of a frat boy slipping away without giving it back. It happens more than you think.

Pro tip: check the floor of the bar with a flashlight at the end of the night, guaranteed free Juul.

10.  Quitting

All good things must come to an end...until you buy your next one.

Truly, the Juul is a generational pinnacle—one of those things we will smile about driving our kids' carpool to soccer practice in a few years. And though it's mostly done in good fun, take a second to seriously consider if the J is worth it. Be smart, and happy Juuling!

Popular Right Now

10 Abnormally Normal Things About College

Some stuff just doesn't fly in the real world.
116029
views

College is a weird, weird place. For whatever reason, the young adults who are supposed to be cultivating their minds with all of the worldly knowledge available to them, seem to get away with quite a bit using the justification "it's college." Even the best students live abnormally while on the alien planet that is a university. So, while to us college students it may just seem like another day, here are ten things that are only normal in college.

1. Straight up theft.

In the future, if I walk into my forty-something-year-old neighbor's home and see a collection of stolen signs, stuff from the local restaurant, and property from the construction site down the road, I would definitely be concerned about the character of my neighbor. However, in college, people proudly display campus signs, traffic cones, or dining hall napkin dispensers that they have impressively commandeered - it's a cheap decoration and a great conversation starter.

2. All-nighters.

Maybe with the exception of parents of little babies, very few people willingly stay up for close to 24 hours on end. In the real world, if a friend came to you and said that they literally did not sleep the previous night, it's completely logical to be worried. On the other hand, when a friend in college says that he was up all night you laugh a little, give him an understanding pat on the back, and walk with him to the coffee line.

3. Atrocious eating habits.

Sometimes you don't have time to eat. Sometimes you order pizza at 2 in the morning. Sometimes you eat three dinners. Sometimes you diet. All I can say, is thank goodness that our metabolisms are decently high at this age.

4. Breaking and entering.

In high school, you hopefully knew everyone who entered your home. After college, hopefully, that's still the case. However, when you live in the middle of thousands of bored college students, people knock at your door, walk into parties, cut through your yard, and stop by without invitation or hesitation. It keeps life fun, but still not normal.

5. Calling mom when stuff goes down.

I really doubt a time will ever come that I don't need to call my mom for guidance on how to do something. But, hopefully the frequency of those calls with go down a little bit post-graduation. Maybe after four years of doing it on my own, I'll know how to fill out government forms, cook real dinners, and get stains out. But for now, I'm going to keep calling while I still can without seeming totally pathetic.

6. Being intoxicated at weird times.

Drunk at noon on a Friday is the quintessence of an alcoholic at any time - unless it's college. Not that this is necessarily a good thing, and it certainly doesn't apply to everyone, but there aren't many other places where people would instantly assume someone is intoxicated if they're acting even a little weird. I've even seen people drink in the library....

7. The messed up dating scene.



There are people who meet the love of their life at college and live happily ever after. They are people who meet the supposed love of their life at college and never talk to them again after Sunday. There are people who use Tinder. Hormones are high, freedom is bountiful, and football players are cute - what else needs to be said?

8. A warped sense of time.

The career I'm pursuing will require me to be at work by 7 am, five days a week. I am fully aware of this. Now, will I enroll in an 8 am next semester? Absolutely not - I'm not a demon. In college, nights often start at 10 p.m., dinners are eaten at 4, and mornings can begin anywhere from 8 to 2. We don't get that whole 9-5 idea.

9. Costumes... for no apparent reason.

High schoolers have a dress code. Adults have dignity. College students have fun. Here, people will wear a corn costume to get on ESPN, a fanny pack to get into a fraternity, or a tutu to match a theme party. Is it actually a weird thing, though? No one even blinks an eye.

10. Insanely close friends.

Name another point in your life when you live with your friends, study with your friends, drive with your friends, eat with your friends, go out with your friends, and even grocery shop with your friends. I'll wait. At college, it's easy for friends to seem like family because you're with them constantly. Love it or hate it, it's weird about college.

So, enjoy this weirdness while you can - it won't last forever!


ALSO SEE:

Uncensored Roommate Confessions!

Cover Image Credit: Matthew Kupfer

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

The Top 3 Lifestyle Changes I Made In College

The mistakes I corrected which stood between me and satisfaction.

116
views

2019 has been a year of unparalleled growth for me. In 2018 I could have said the same. I spent extended periods of time analyzing the factors of my life which left me, in some ways, feeling unfulfilled. Here are the top 3 lifestyle changes that I made in college which left me feeling happier than ever.

1. Cut out the toxic people. 

A house is worthless without a solid foundation. The people which you call your friends are largely the foundation for your confidence and social life. Sometimes, we recognize that these people are overall anchors on our psyche; condescending narcissists whose confidence rests on making others feel inadequate. The first step to building self-confidence is to get these people out of your life immediately. Once you solidify this foundation, you will soon realize how pitiful these people are, and growth you had been capable of without them.

2. Do you even lift?

Not only has my physical condition improved from going to the gym, so has my mental strength. As my physical form has improved, my confidence has risen. We have spent millions of years evolving to physically exert ourselves. Our modern lifestyle has left many of us without this crucial key to endorphins and proper brain chemistry; a factor which has promoted never before seen rates of depression and anxiety. Lifting weights have left me feeling better than I can remember, with endorphins and testosterone at an all-time high.

For years, I either avoided the gym or found excuses to stop. The reason I never committed to fitness was largely a lack of interest in self-betterment, but also a feeling of cluelessness in the subject. I recommend utilizing the "Beginner's Health and Fitness Guide" linked here. This guide breaks down fitness in an incredibly easy to understand way. This information is not published by someone trying to sell you something. It was written by input from numerous online fitness enthusiasts and refined for accuracy as well as simplicity. This guide has helped me and many others in online communities start down the road to improved physical and mental health through fitness.

3. Do as much as possible, even when you don't feel like it. 


I squandered years of my short life secluding myself to a comfort bubble. While in college, I have realized that happiness largely rests on occupying yourself with new and real experiences as frequently as possible. Time which would have previously been wasted on my phone, the television, or playing online games was shifted to trying new things. As often as possible, I have pushed myself to undertake activities such as learning to snowboard, grabbing food with people from college whom I had just met, going hiking with strangers and our mutual friend, traveling solo, etc. Pushing myself further from my comfort bubble every day has been exceptionally conducive to not only living life to a greater degree but also decreasing the anxieties which we all experience.


What can you fix in your current life to build the lifestyle you dream of?





Related Content

Facebook Comments