For almost two years now, I have been open about my sexuality. Though I am not a big believer in labels, most people would call me bisexual. Coming out was a very difficult thing for me, as admitting to myself that I like girls was a huge step. But to make matters more difficult, peoples' reactions are not always ideal. Though I am lucky enough to have an amazing support system of family and friends and a loving girlfriend, I regularly get questions and comments that are less-than-wonderful. I have learned to laugh at these moments, as I realize now that some people are just ignorant. For those of you who enjoy having a good laugh at these comments, as well, here are some of my favorites:
1. So, who's the boy/girl in the relationship?
This is such a common question and it kills me every time. I mention to people I have a girlfriend, and they constantly ask, "so who's the guy in the relationship?" Actually, believe it or not, neither of us are. If we wanted a guy in the relationship, we'd be dating a GUY. It's true that in some lesbian relationships, one or both of the women can be masculine, but they are both still WOMEN. That's sort of the point. We both do very girly things such as scream when we see bugs, put on makeup, etc.
2. You don't look like a lesbian.
Oh, yes, I forgot to put on my rainbow cape this morning. Let me go grab it and I'll fly around and throw glitter while singing Glee songs about equality and love. But seriously, what does a lesbian look like? Not all of us have cropped hair and cargo pants. I spend as much time in front of the mirror as most straight girls I know.
3. I knew you were gay/bi.
On the other side of the coin, some people are just convinced that they knew all along. Which I think is very funny because I had no damn idea for a very long time. I did a good job hiding it from myself. Plus, I also like guys, so it's not like I exude some chemical that screams "I am not attracted to men!" So, really, you knew nothing. Sorry.
4. Have you always known?
Actually, yes, I popped out of my mother's womb and screamed "HELLO, WORLD, I LIKE BOOBS!" No, I have not. Like I said, denial ran deep. Let this not be confused with the idea that I chose this, though. I did not. Trust me, I tried to deny it for a long time, but like I said, boobs are just too damn awesome.
5. What do gay people think about (current hot topic)?
It's funny, some people think we're all part of some e-mail chain where we discuss current evens and come up with a group consensus of our opinion. I can't agree with my girlfriend on what movie to watch OnDemand, so I don't think you'll get a whole gigantic group of people to agree on anything. And, even if that happened, what made me the spokesperson?
6. But, you're both pretty.
When I show people a picture of my girlfriend and me, sometimes I get genuine surprise that one or both of us are not trolls. Like I said before, not all lesbian couples look like the stereotype.
7. This is just a phase, right?
This genuinely bothers me. It seems to be the cool thing right now to get drunk and make out with your friends. That's great, and I honestly encourage experimenting: How else will you figure out what you like? But, I am not one of those girls who just kisses girls while drunk. Though I have no problem with those girls, if they want to have fun, then all the power to them, I would not equate my relationship with my girlfriend to a drunken hook-up. She is someone I seriously care about, and is NOT a phase.
8. So how do you...you know?
Sex. This is something that so many people wonder about. They seem to think it's such an easy answer. Lesbians do ___ and that's it. Actually, no. Surprisingly enough, like heterosexual couples, homosexual couples all enjoy different things. And, if you want to know more than that, the Internet is a wonderful place, full of pictures, diagrams, and detailed descriptions.
It's kind of rude to ask such a personal question, anyway.
