I stumbled upon an article titled "15 Thoughts Every Guy Has When Dating a Bigger Woman" on Facebook late last night, and thought it might be interesting. Instead, I got a crude list of why “plus-size women” should be pitied, but not as much as the men who date them.
The author, Jim Hogue, outlines his 15 reasons that he thinks men date bigger women. If you haven't read it yet, I would encourage you to stop and do so... but "The Richest" already deleted it. Lucky for you, it's my pleasure to outline it here for you.
15. Your date is tough
In this section, the author states that “bigger girls” are the only girls who mowed the yard growing up. Naturally, they will be tough and strong and willing to fight instead of being weak and fragile like most women.
14. My girl can cook
This one wasn’t necessarily bad until you get to the part where he states, “big girls usually get big for a reason, and usually that reason has something to do with food.”
Your simple-mindedness couldn’t link weight gain to the various factors that women have to face such as: stress, menstrual cycles, child bearing, birth control, health issues, depression and thyroid complications. None of those causes are mentioned in this section. The only thing you decided to say is that women get big because they eat a lot.
13. Calorie counting is out
You know, I actually will agree with you on this one. Calorie counting is a joke. To obsess over the amount of calories in something is a little far-fetched considering the difference between healthy, protein rich calories and sugary or fatty calories. So congratulations on actually making a very valid point for the only part in this entire article. For your sake, I will leave out the bit where you said the only difference between a bigger girl and a “typical” girl is that you will have to bring home two pizzas instead of one.
12. It is good for his confidence
When men “don’t feel ready to ask out the woman they truly desire, they work their way up." How do they do that? By asking out the plus size women who won’t say no. Just like in baseball, when you’re mediocre and “not ready for the big leagues” you go for what is easy, right? Because weight is a non-intimidating factor on who to ask out, according to the author.
11. He might like them better
Now, who in the world would have thought that a man could actually want anything to do with a woman of some weight? If this wasn’t bad enough, he lets us know that very few men can actually wrap their brains around this notion. Closing this section with a little icing on the cake, he assures us that there are a lot weirder things that people are into. Yes, Jim, because a man dating a woman is much stranger than people actually enjoying your article.
10. They are easy to talk to
Women that are traditionally hot never learn conversation, and why would you ruin a pretty face by being funny and cracking jokes? “They [bigger women] tend to be used to working up their personality to make up for what many guys perceive to be flaws.”
Sweetheart, the only flaws I have is that I don’t always pluck my eyebrows when they need to be and I let my nail polish go too long between paintings.
9. Picking a place to eat is easy
No, it’s not, and it never will be; when I want sushi, it’s never on a Sunday and when Nick, my boyfriend, wants to sit at the bar and eating fried calamari and a sub, I want Mexican. That is a straight up joke thinking that just because women are bigger they will be “willing to pretty much go anywhere you want her to, at any time."
8. The cuddling is the best
Surprisingly, skinny women get hit the hardest here. For big women, this is one of the only things you’ve got going for you.
Jim describes his cuddling experiences with smaller women as “no fun at all. It feels like you are snuggling with your 12-year-old brother.”
The best part for bigger women is that if you ever feel like quitting your day job you can hire yourself out as a professional cuddler.
7. She is a built in work out buddy
I really don’t even know how to respond to this one because he just assumes that all “hot” women are that way because they work out harder than you do and in their free time do nothing but go running. Obviously, us bigger women are going to be eager for our super hunky boyfriends to show us a thing or two in the gym so that we can get hot like all the other women he wishes he was with instead of us. Right, Jim?
6. There is less pressure on how you look
*Insert side-eye emoji here.* Contrary to the title of this one, he is actually being a decent human being and not saying that we don’t like to look nice, but that we won’t nag on him to look decent and go to the gym like other women will and prefer to spend our time inside on the couch with a bag of chips.
5. Jealousy is a thing of the past
You know that infuriating habit of men who see a “hot” woman and can’t keep their eyes off of her? Date a big chick and you won’t have to deal with that! What man will have googly eyes for your bigger-sized arm candy? They surely won’t be jealous then.
4. They tend to be funny
Tend. If you’re hot, you don’t have to have a personality, because dogs only want your body. But if you don’t have a super-toned body, then you should definitely get to work on those jokes ASAP, because that’s the only way you’re going to reel some poor sap in.
3. They tend to be eager to please
Big women have never gone on a single date before and therefore are not used to being with a guy so their insecurities get the best of them. Which, in turn, makes Jim think that we will do everything we can to please you because obviously that’s what big women in relationships do to keep their significant other interested. Right.
2. You can take her anywhere
You can’t do that with traditional women. Oh, no. You can only do this with big girls because we don't have lives, or things to do except to please you (see #3). “Hot” women won’t agree to do things like big girls do.
And last but not least...
1. They are easy to ask out.
Men go for big girls not for their looks, or their personalities, but because they are a sad excuse of a person and just know that we won’t say no. It’s a guaranteed yes, obviously.
I’d like to thank Jim for this super-amusing article here. Thank you for your short-minded ways of thinking and for ruining another poor girl’s self-esteem. Thank you for egging on the use for words such as “hot” and “sexy” when describing women. Thank you for insulting all types of women by defining us as either big or traditional.
Men like you are the reason I got into writing. Men like you are the reason many women have started to stand up as ambassadors against this type of treatment. Gone are the days where women wouldn’t eat in front of men for the first few dates. No longer do women shame themselves for doing whatever it is that makes them happy. We feel like dressing in oversized shirts and norts? So be it. Why should we be confined to tight little shirts and short shorts just to be eye appeal? When I work out it is because I like feeling stronger and pushing myself, not because I need to lose weight. I do things for myself, not for your approval.
