Dear friend who left,

I prayed for a close friend. Someone who would understand me. Someone who would uplift me and help me reach my goals. I wanted someone that would encourage me when I felt weak. God sent me you. You understood me. I didn't need to explain myself to you, you just understood.

I can be complicated, I am quirky, loud and ridiculous but you loved me despite it all. You helped me through my anxiety and never asked for anything in return you just gave of yourself and I adored you. Everything about you. You could make me laugh when I took life too seriously. You could talk me down when I got upset, comforted me when I cried and laughed at me when I was just crazy.

We did so many things together, created so many memories, so many inside jokes. I felt completely myself around you. You showed me that there is still good in the world. You pushed me to question the world around me. You pushed me to be better and make the world around me better.

You were the answer to my prayer.

But you left me, without a word or an explanation. Decided I wasn't what you needed. I am sorry. I don't understand. I don't know what went wrong. I don't know what happened. You left me. Maybe I wasn't what you needed and I am sorry. Letting go of you has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do. There is no one in this world like you and there never will be. I am having to fill the hole you left in me when you decided to walk away.

I hope you know I think of you often. Hope you are well. Hope you are happy. I wish you only the best.

I am reminded of you all the time. I see things that remind me of you. I see something funny and I want to tell you about it. I have come across things that would have made the best Christmas presents and birthday presents for you. I have stopped myself from calling so many times.

I am slowly learning how to live without you. It hurts and it looks quite different, but I still have to go on with life without you. I don't like it, but I am brave enough to do it. You hurt me. I trusted you and you walked away. But I know you had to take care of yourself. You had to venture off and become your own person. I just wish we could have grown and discovered together but that isn't always how life works I suppose.

Although I miss you dearly, and you hurt me deeply, I hope you are well.