Dear girls who have recently had their hearts broken,
Just like a breakup, I have no way of sugar coating this letter to you. So let me say that first and foremost, breakups stink. They feel abrupt even if they’re not. They can cause you to feel absolutely lost, confused, upset, frustrated, angry, hopeless, and altogether very emotional. Maybe you’re experiencing all of these feelings or maybe just one. However, the one thing all breakups have in common is they leave you feeling hurt. Breakups really just hurt a lot. It does not matter if you spent three months with that person or three years, because either way, it hurts. If there is one thing that you get out of this letter it’s that you are going to get through this. Say this to yourself as many times as you need. You are strong and you are going to get through this! I promise you, you will.
Here are some things you should remember if you’re currently going through one:
You are stronger than you think. People don’t realize how strong they can be until they are forced to be. Life is tough right now, but so are you.
Remind yourself that you do not need anyone. You don’t need some boy to make you happy. Happiness comes from you. I know that sounds terribly cliché, but it’s true. I understand how a sweet good morning text message can make anyone smile, or a cute compliment, or the classic “I love you, babe.” There’s a difference between smiling and actually being happy. Remind yourself that genuinely being happy as a person comes from inside.
It is OK to not be OK. Do not tell yourself that you’re being stupid for crying so much. Don’t ever put yourself down. No good comes from that. You are a beautiful girl who deserves the world. Sometimes the only way to get over things is to accept the fact that they have happened. Accept that you’re going to be sad for a while, but remind yourself that one day you are going to start to feel like your old self again. It is OK to be sad for now because one day everything will work out.
Breakup food is the bomb. Please remember that Ben and Jerry's will be there for you forever. Go to your favorite restaurant with your closest friends and just pig out!
Surround yourself with friends. Your girlfriends are there until the end. They are there to comfort you and support you during the painful times in your life. Just reach out to someone, even if it’s your mom. People that love you are going to want to make you feel better. Don’t be afraid to call them at 2 a.m. if you’re feeling lonely.
Do not text him. Do not. Just turn your phone off. Nothing good can come from texting him. If you continue to talk to him then you're never going to get over him. Stop refreshing your Snapchat stories to see what he's doing. Stop checking his Instagram to see if he's going to post a photo with another girl. Stop looking to see if he is subtweeting about you. It's best to just unfriend him from all social media. This is another way of communicating with him even if it's indirect. You're going to hurt longer if you keep checking.
Give yourself time. Time can heal a broken heart. If there is another boy that likes you don't just start dating him right away. If you want to go into another relationship you want to make sure you are 100% committed to that other person. If you see that something could happen in the future with them just explain how you feel to them. If he's the right guy, he will understand and wait for you. Your mind is cloudy and your brain is overloading. Give yourself time to cry. Give yourself time to eat as many donuts as you need. Don't say that you're over him if you're really not. Again, it is OK to not be OK. Just give yourself time.
Take it day by day. Just take everything one step at a time. Just keep going.
You will get over him. The first few weeks after a breakup are the hardest. You spend most of your time and energy thinking about your once significant other. I know you feel like you are never going to get over him, but you will. Even if it takes a long time, you will. Life goes on and you’ll move on.
I know I just gave you a ton of advice, but here is another big suggestion: don’t forget. Don’t forget the memories. Don't forget the small moments: the slow dances at prom, the good morning kisses, or the long drives you spent together. Accept the fact that it was good that it happened and that he taught you a lot, but it’s best that it ended. You’re going to find someone that makes you realize why it didn’t work out with everyone else you have ever dated. Somewhere out there, some guy is wondering what it would be like to meet a girl like you.
Stay strong, because you’re going to be amazing.
Love,
A girl who knows exactly how you’re feeling
