First of all, what does it mean to be an introvert? The Myers Briggs Foundation defines introverts as people who “get energy from dealing with ideas, pictures, memories, and reactions that are inside [their] head[s], in [their] inner world[s]. [They] often prefer doing things alone or with one or two people… [They] take time to reflect…” and value ideas. Some other characteristics of introverts include being reflective and reserved, feeling comfortable being alone, liking things that can be done alone, preferring to know just a few people very well and spending a lot of time reflecting.
Next, let’s figure out what being a highly sensitive person means! According to Wikipedia, sensory processing sensitivity (SPS) is a personality trait, specifically one that defines a highly sensitive person. Wikipedia continues to define SPS as a "temperament or personality trait which is present in some individuals and reflects an increased sensitivity of the central nervous system and a deeper cognitive processing of physical, social and emotional stimuli." So basically, loud noises, bright lights or the like can cause distress.
Now, as a highly sensitive introvert (with social anxiety on top of those!), I often have trouble functioning in the extraverted, outgoing, and almost overly-social world in which we live. I often feel safe and comfortable inside my own head. I prefer to spend time alone or with a few close friends. I enjoy doing things that give me peace and solitude—reading, writing, playing video games, gardening, drawing, etc.—but our extraverted world requires that I go beyond my comfort zone quite often. Sure, this will eventually help me become more comfortable doing day-to-day tasks, but my introverted nature will always be there, and I’ll always be slightly uncomfortable doing certain things. When my highly sensitive personality is factored in, daily life becomes so much more difficult. Small things that probably don’t bother anyone else (except for other HSPs) make things so much more uncomfortable: loud talkers, overly-outgoing people, small talk, emotional (or seemingly emotional) videos and photos on social media, obnoxious sounds like a fork scraping against a plate, somewhat large groups of people, the self-checkout lane that won’t stop alerting an employee for no reason and so many more things cause emotional, mental and sometimes physical discomfort.
As a (self-diagnosed) highly sensitive introvert with social anxiety, there are so many things that I wish I could tell the world.
1. I’m not rude or snobby, I just have a hard time talking to people I don’t know.
2. I’m actually a friendly, warm person, but it takes time for me to show my true colors. While this is just a symptom of shyness, that doesn't mean it's the only reason I have trouble opening up.
3. Sometimes I wish I had a remote control that I could use to turn down the volume on all of my surroundings.
4. It’s not always you, it’s me.
5. I know most people mean well and don’t know how uncomfortable they make me, but I wish I could be left alone when I’m out.
6. My personality isn’t a bad thing. Don’t apologize when I say I’m an introvert. Just because I’m not outgoing, it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with me.
7. If we’re friends, I probably suck at keeping in touch with you, and I’m sorry.
8. I probably like animals and books more than I like you.
9. I’m not just “shy.” Forcing me into awkward and uncomfortable situations isn’t going to “help me get over it.
10. Thank you for having libraries, cafes, bookstores, and single-stall bathrooms for people like me who sometimes need an escape when we’re out in public.
I’m sure most of this has probably made it seem like I’m totally unhappy with being a highly sensitive introvert, but I’m not! I love my introverted nature. While I do wish I had an easier time talking to people without feeling nervous, I wouldn’t change a thing about my personality. Those who have taken the time to get to know me and have made me feel comfortable know exactly what I’m like, and I don’t know what I would do without them. Being a HSP and an introvert has shaped who I am during my entire life, and I probably wouldn’t be so interested in writing, reading or exploring the fantasy worlds in my imagination if I weren’t introverted, and that means I wouldn’t have written this, and you wouldn’t be reading it! I love the way I am, and I hope that all of my introverted, highly sensitive readers love themselves, too! The world may not know how to handle us, but that’s totally okay since we don’t really like being out in the extraverted world anyway.
