As a celebration of 24 years on this planet, I decided to write myself a birthday apology.

Dear Me,

You did it. You made it through the past two years, and look at how far you’ve come. You went to more than five different countries, overcame loads of scary situations, and managed to find your way in and out of six jobs, only to end up back in the city you call home. Congratulations.

Part of you wants to believe that things have to happen for a purpose, some reason that attributes the difficulties in life with the good that may come afterward. Other times you check your sanity and think that reality throws you into the doghouse without a bone for no particular reason.

Know now – it doesn’t matter how you look at it. You are right.

You are right because you do what you must adjust to the confinements life presents. That is not saying that you must fit into them. This is to say that you must find the dimensions appropriate for the way you want to live your one life. Akin to how people choose and personalize, boundaries and limitations are yours alone and remain a physical manifestation or a figment of the mind.

I do not want to tell you “define yourself” as much of today’s inspirational yet patronizing, motivational prescriptions are wont to do. I acknowledge the weight of outside factors that often prop up as a wall in your way; those exist and no amount of self-determination disintegrates that presence. However, keeping that persistence gives you a way around the matter.

In keeping with that sense of determination, you often gloss over your feelings in many matters. You drop your head down, allowing your nose to grind itself down closer and closer to the pavement, and yet somehow you lack fulfillment from the task at hand.

This needs to change.

Acknowledge your feelings about a particular matter, and this is why:

You will not have time to do everything. Ever. In your life or in any other life.

You will not have time to do it all so take the time to think about the things worth doing.

Make that list. Work on it every day.

Think about what you want out of life and accept it – for what it is and what it will be.

Let the list morph, crossing things off and moving things higher and lower on the list. Metamorphosis means different things at different points in life; some decisions build-up in difficulty. Nevertheless, allow yourself the kindness and begin changing.

At twenty-four years old, do you know how to forgive yourself? Can you flow through the motions of your life with a sense of humility for your own humanity? You respect a lot of things, but can you respect yourself and your own fallibility?

You are not invincible, but enjoy the feeling.

You have always been responsible. Careless, occasionally. Reckless – never.

Stealing from a cliché: you see green grass and no sides…

… but when the grass turns brown and you ultimate find blame in yourself (fairly or unfairly so), will you allow yourself to find acceptance or will you burn with the dying grass the next time a thunderstorm lights up the ground?

I implore you – take care of yourself and seek empathy in all situations. If compromise moves us along, then understanding creates progress.

Understand the words that come after “you,” and the rest will follow.

Also, without forgetting and with the utmost kindness,

Happy birthday. You are doing great, kid.