I have the hardest time telling people "no."

"Yes, of course, I'll come over and help pick out your outfit for the night." "Yes, I'll become a club member." "Yes, I would LOVE to bungee off a bridge even though I'm absolutely terrified of heights and bungee jumping is the last thing I want to do."

It's an issue I have always possessed as far as I can remember. I never saw it as a downfall until recently. Saying "yes" to everything has helped me to come out of my comfort zone, to experience things that I may not have even thought of in my wildest dreams. I have met many new friends from all kinds of backgrounds and I have picked up all kinds of new skills and mindsets.

While I was in high school I loved being a four-sport athlete, National Honor Society Vice-President, a band, choir, and show choir member, the stage manager for all of the plays and musicals (it was a small school) and I loved being considered a leader while walking down the halls because everyone, no matter the age, had seemed to know my name due to any one of the activities I participated in. I created so many friendships, or so I had thought.

I didn't recognize it until I graduated high school, and I haven't put much thought until now--three years later. Although I may have learned a lot of skills, mindsets, communication methods, and other fundamentals of how to be so-called "successful," I had missed out on probably one of the most important assets I could have acquired--deep, meaningful friendships. I don't remember the last time I hung out with any of the students I graduated with and I only moved about 20 minutes away from home.

The copious amount of extracurriculars I was involved with may have taught me how to get along with all kinds of people, but it was on a superficial level. That superficial level stayed all through high school. There wasn't one single person, who knew the details of my life, or how I was feeling, not even my parents. (I was hardly ever home because I would be at school at 6:30 or 7 and not return home until about 9 or 10. I'd hop in a shower and go to bed exhausted from the day.) I had one REALLYclose friend and he was great but with me being so busy we didn't keep in touch like we should have.

Once I started dating my first serious boyfriend junior year, my time seemed to become even more limited. I remember having a lot of talks with him about how I couldn't hang out, or how I didn't want to because I wanted to take a nap. To say it lightly, he wasn't a huge sports fan and didn't understand my busy schedule. In the end, once I had graduated, instead of being able to tell other people no (such as coaches, instructors, etc.), I couldn't tell him no. The few friendships I had acquired outside of the activities were quickly gone after graduation and I only had him and his friends who I haven't spoken to since the break-up about two years ago.

However, after the break-up, my inability to say "no" didn't cease, it just transferred. I knew I wanted to get involved more with the University. I joined a couple clubs, made more new friends essentially falling back into the same old habits I had created since about junior high.

I am lucky that the clubs and organizations I have joined and hold an officer position for fantastic members and other officers who are more than understanding and flexible about schedules. I am grateful that I have created those few friendships that I know will last a lifetime. It's a calming feeling, knowing that there are at least two people I can text or call at any time and I know they would be willing to drive to Canada with me if I really needed it. Dating my absolute best friend has also made things easier. He is truly my biggest fan (even if I may not be playing sports anymore) and he understands that there are times when I need to do what's best for me.

I am here to tell you one thing for when it comes to your life and your happiness:

IT IS ALL ABOUT YOU.

It has never been easy to put myself first. I was raised to love and care for others. That if I carried a big heart with good intentions that would be enough to make and keep me happy. I have figured out there is more pieces to the very large puzzle.

Yes, loving others is important. Yes, helping strangers and putting others first can be fantastic but have you ever heard of the phrase, "You can't pour from an empty cup?" If you have given all your time and energy to others leaving nothing left for yourself, then it makes it near impossible to continue to give. It's okay to say 'no' every now and then. It's okay to take a day off every now and then and just focus on what you want and what you need, to do at least one thing that makes you happy is important and necessary.

Find people who understand this mentality, cut all negativity out of your life, trust me, you don't need it. Even if you have been "friends" for years, there are others who are willing to make you even happier. Make sure the people you surround yourself with are people who know your dreams and support them. Nothing is more discouraging having others tell you something is stupid, or worse, not caring altogether.

Remember: it is okay to say no. It is also okay to say yes. The choice is yours. After all, it is all about you.