The Art of Confrontation

The Art Of Confrontation

If there is one thing my parents taught me, it is the art of confrontation.


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If there is one thing my parents taught me, it is the art of confrontation. The earliest example I can remember is being in a movie theater with my family, when a large group of kids behind us were yelling and texting during the first half of the movie. The entire theater was angry, and you could sense the tension came from more than just the rapid car chase on screen. With one fluid motion, my mom quietly stood up and kindly told the kids how disruptive they were being. Each of them was horrified and apologetic, and didn't make one peep the rest of the movie. The theater was grateful and my mom sat with a power that I had never seen before: The Art of Confrontation.

A lot of people break a sweat at the thought of confrontation. It is often associated with yelling, getting up in someone's face, and letting out all of your emotions at once. However, confrontation isn't about a rush of anger and fear. Webster defines confrontation as, "a face-to-face meeting" and "the clashing of forces or ideals." This doesn't have to be a full-on fight.

So, do I follow in my mom's footsteps as the "Queen of Confrontation"? I asked some of my closest friends if they view me as being confrontational. I was disappointed to learn that they think I'm the least confrontational person ever. They explained me as being someone who would never get up in a person's face and argue until my lungs burst. I took this as a compliment, and it just reiterated the misconception of being confrontational.

How exactly does one live a life with confrontation? Well, it's an art. We can start there. A person develops specific skills in order to have the ability to confront a person, whether that be a friend, stranger, teammate, family member, or the coworker who keeps stealing your pasta salad out of the fridge. If you want to confront someone, view it as having a simple discussion where you share your thoughts, and then listen to theirs in return. It is important to stay calm during the conversation, so taking some time to think with yourself beforehand will be helpful. Think about what initially upset you and how you reacted. Ask yourself the hard questions that involve why the issue is annoying you or disrupting your thought. Of course, there will be times in a dark movie theater where you won't go through this process, but if you're laying in bed with a pit in your stomach because you need to confront someone tomorrow, take a deep breath, and think it out. Writing out the specific points that you want to touch upon will help you organize your thoughts clearly. Have a practice conversation with yourself in the mirror, and have alternative reactions to everything you say. This way, you can be prepared for whatever outcome occurs.

Confrontation doesn't need to be a spur of the moment act. You can pull someone aside and ask to speak with them later in the day, or shoot a text that leads to a talk later. Confrontation can be an easy conversation at the end of the day. Sit down, and share your thoughts. A key idea to keep in mind is to stay calm. The person you are talking to will react similarly to you. If you are kind and understanding, they should be too. Start the conversation by asking them to hear you out until the end and then you will listen to them. Set the ground rule down that they will have their time to talk as long as they listen now.

At the end of the day, you need to remember that confrontation might not always go your way. You can do everything right, and still have a negative outcome. You can only control your actions, and in doing so will hopefully get the best result. All in all, remember that when it comes to confrontation, you are the driver. Plan it out, stay calm, and have a conversation. Confrontation, is an art, and it is waiting to be learned and conquered.

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These Are 4 Proven Ways That Vaccines Cause Autism

Stock up on those essential oils.

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Let's just start with the first (and main) point.

1. They don't.

Susan in your anti-vax group is not a scholarly source (despite her hours and hours of Google research).

2. But in case you still believe Susan...

Maybe you'll believe Autism Speaks who says, "Scientists have conducted extensive research over the last two decades to determine whether there is any link between childhood vaccinations and autism. The results of this research is clear: Vaccines do not cause autism."

3. And if Autism Speaks still didn't convince you...

Feel free to take a look at this comprehensive list of studies that all say that there is no relationship between vaccines such as the MMR vaccination and the development of autism.

4. But here's what you should know...

There have been a few studies lately that have shown that autism develops in utero aka before a baby is even born AND before a baby can even receive vaccinations.

Vaccinations have prevented COUNTLESS deaths and illnesses. Vaccination rates are continuing to fall and do you know what that means? Measles will make its way back. Whooping cough will come back. Rubella, mumps, and polio will come back and there will be no way to stop it.

So, now that you know that vaccines do not cause autism, you're welcome to go tell Susan from your anti-vax group that as well as tell her that the Earth isn't flat. But, don't forget to mention it to her that her essential oils and organic foods are not keeping her children safe from the measles or tuberculosis.

Vaccinate your children. And, besides, even IF vaccinations caused autism, wouldn't you rather have a child with a developmental disorder rather than a child who died from the measles?

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The 5 Types of Retail Customers

A run-down on the many forms of customers you either encounter as a retail employee or are guilty of being.

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We all get summer jobs or seasonal jobs at some place to get that extra cash when we find ourselves broke after spending $300+ on Ubers/Lyfts in under a month (possibly speaking from personal experience). This in turn led me to broaden my job searching horizons and led me to work at a fast food chain that goes by the name of 'Salsaritas' (ironic since my nickname is Salsa, also was not intentional) and currently a retail store at a local mall. So, I guess it's safe to say that I have come across a lot of different people with a whole lot of personality. Working in these types of industries, it can sometimes be really hard and pretty interesting. So voila, here we go:

1. The Always Angry Customer

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This is the customer that is constantly angry. They walk in pissed off and they want everyone else to know that they are pissed off. This type of customer also uses at least one of these following sentences: "Let me talk to your manager. Who's your manager?" or the "How long have you been working here for?" Honestly, there's not much you can do to help them other than try to just do what they ask for and get them the hell out of there as quickly as possible.

2. The Messy Customer

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Easily one of the most annoying types of customers (sorry). This person will walk and run their hands through an entire counter or rack full of perfectly folded clothes, unfold them, and then just leave them on the counter or on the floor. They also have the "it's fine, it's their job to fold them" mentality. Honestly though, how hard is it to put a jacket or shirt back on a hanger? And if you're this type of customer please, please, please, put what you found back where it came from. Sincerely, every retail employee ever.

3. The Super Nice Customer

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This customer is god-send and thank god that they exist. They are the ones who you can just tell are genuinely good people. New at work and don't know how the hell to ring up a customer at a register? No worries, they'll wait there patiently, smile at you, and occasionally tell you that "you're doing great sweetie." They treat you like you're not just a retail employee and at the end of the day, you just wanna give them a hug for making your day feel less shitty.

4. The Talkative Customer

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There's two parts to this one. This type of customer is either talking on the phone while you're ringing them up at the register or is just trying to get to know literally everything there is to know about you. If they're on the phone, it's impossible to know if they're responding to you or to the person who they're on the phone with. The worst part is when they hold up one finger to signal to you that they'll be just a minute and leave you to just awkwardly stand in front of them while trying not to listen to their entire conversation. The other part is when they just want to get to know you which is cute and all until they're just trying to analyze your entire background, where you're from, what you're studying, etc. Luckily if you're like me who wasn't born in the U.S. with a very ethnic name, you just scored yourself a talkative customer. Well done and good luck getting out of the conversation!

5. The Last Minute Customer

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Imagine that you just did an 8 hour shift and right when you're about to clock out and head out to go home, you see a customer walking in literally a minute or two before the whole mall is about to close. They'll probably ask you if you're about to close even though they can see that there's not a single person inside there other than you. They'll also probably tell you that they know exactly what they're looking for. It's never true and get ready for that OT. But hey, on the bright-side, you'll get a fat pay-check.


So, the next time you find yourself at a mall...Remind yourself to pick up something you might've accidentally dropped, keep in mind that workers are human beings too, and kindness goes a long way because at the end of the day, that employee could be one of your loved ones.

Until next time,

Salsa.


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